Where are my feet?

I was wondering if I have a serious wandering bug or a serious inability to settle. Either way, I fantasize constantly about just taking off. Then I think about digging in. Seems I am constantly trying to figure out where to go. Tiff knows. I have ideas. Now while I will acknowledge the healthy "pause when doubtful" approach I have been using, there is a flaw to it I am seeing. My mind isn't pausing at all. It seems to be the same philosophy of not feeling that much better for only THINKING of telling someone off. I have to actually try not to think it either.



Fuck.

Plausable Deniability

What a great term: plausible deniability. Or even deniable plausibility.

That fantastic term was used in Kubrick's Dr Strangelove as a government stance. It described the ability to outright do something while being completely able to say it's not being done. While our government seems a laughable, scary machine of ineptitude these days, it still seems like a likely term for them to use.
What makes me bring this up was a conversation I had with a good friend this morning. I made a joke about taking a U-Haul to Minneapolis for DuoTeam's wedding. Just an off-hand joke based on my well-known dislike for LA and eagerness to move. Ha-ha. Right? Well I found out a short time later that a few friends that know me fairly well actually were not sure whether or not to laugh. Apparently I have earned an air of unpredictability. For better or worse, there you go. Who hasn't dreamed of just taking off with whatever could be grabbed in the span of ordering a latte? As it would seem, I could do it without shocking many people.

Is that a good thing or bad? Who knows? Who cares?

What's important is the people I have in my life. I keep in touch, best I can. Provided I stay upfront and honest with them, it seems my unpredictability isn't such a bad thing. Maybe that's just my perspective though.
Tiff and I keep trying to take the next right step out here. Where those steps lead is anyone’s guess. Today, home is still at the bottom of the hill with the Hollywood sign.

As for my personal deniable plausibility? Well, I don't want any further shenanigans called. I will let you know what I know. I stayed in Chicago for 6 years with just the vague idea there was more to be done. Most of that time I did not know what exactly was left. I am still here on the same reasoning. Till then, have another glass of rainwater.

Tattoo Survey

So we were sitting around at our apartment the other night (Tiff, Amanda, and myself) and the topic of tattoos came up. Tiff had seen in her time in Chicago what she considered to be the silliest tattoo ever. That was a Chicago Cubs "C" on a sorority type girl. After a little discussion, we decided it was probably a temp. Nonetheless, would a sports team ever be worthy of permanent ink? Some teams don't even seem permanent. Go Expos...eh... Nationals! By the way, anyone find it humorous that our nation's capital team for our "national pastime" came from Canada? I do.

Anyways, I know tattooing is for a few of us. To some it's a fantasy and others a "never going to happen" idea. Nonetheless, it's a fascinating question: what would you tattoo? A few of my sober friends a while back debated sobriety date tattoos. What if you drank again? Also, does that negate the "anonymous" idea?

Tiff raised the point that bands or even teams could be great inspirations for tattoos if they are clever and creative. She sited a tribute to Jeff Buckley she saw that just had his album title and the years he was alive. Very clean and simple.So what's worthy? I love the Colorado Avalanche, but don't think I would get the big "A" tattooed on me. Then again, as Tiff so playfully brought up, my arm now has the word "hey" on it. Personally I like the thought that now matter how you feel about ink later, it will always remind me where I was at when I got it.

So I ask you then, dear readers, what would you get that would be on the fringe? Hit me.

So close, so close...

It's funny working as a PA sometimes. Tiff said that it would help us to get a chance to work in the industry out here while we were auditioning. In some ways that seems to be true. I have thoroughly suplimented my lacking knowledge of film set lingo and etiquette (thanks again CSU). It has helped tremendously working so closely with the "talent" on so many of these commercials, afterall they are what most of us are out here hoping for. McDonalds and Bud can pay the rent for a few months. I quote the term "talent" in that, aside from being dressed and showing up to the right address on the right day, you really have little to do with convincing anyone of anything, especially "talent." Yet I digress...

I am currently working on a big car commercial that will potentially be the signature feel of this football season. I am in the office today and they finished doing fittings for several "talent" this morning. Honestly most of them were young enough to still be excited (and rightly so). It was the older "actors" that seemed to be... bored... irritated... dead? They were completely tired and ready to go as soon as possible.

Now this was not what I would call acting per se, but they made it this far... it's all fun from here. Plus the spot is going to be beautiful, not to mention profitable. How could you not like the idea of getting a national commercial that will only require you to look great and maybe play football some? It could be much, much worse. Watch five minutes of TV and see. Wait don't... it's not worth it

Anycase, it helps me stay hungry seeing it happen for some of these kids. Plus it canoccassionally be fun too. It's so close though.

Bandwagon... Troy, Troy... Bandwagon

"We don't do fast food here"

So, our days on the West Coast being numbered, Tiffany and I decided to book it to San Francisco just to see it last week. I have long heard it is just a beautiful city and that Northern California is nothing like Southern California. Until last week I had no idea how true that was. Here is quick run down on the trip. I will try to avoid the typical, chronological accounts as that can get tedious for anyone not on the trip.

I have a Jeep now and this trip was the perfect chance to take the top off for a road trip. We planned on doing the Pacific Coast Highway all the way. Due to the hour we left and cooler temperatures on the coast, not only did the top stay on, but also the doors came back on when we ran out of clothes to throw on. Travel in a Jeep means very little can be packed unless you want to take it into every rest-stop with you. The drive was blanketed in low clouds, cooler temps and gorgeous views. Awsome.

We hit our hotel and immediately drove into the city to explore. Seems ever since England, I don't like to waste much time before exploring a new town. Funny that. I drove, Tiff navigated. That took us into the North Beach area where we found delicious pizza and salads. We found our way home happy and giddy.

Our foot travels through the city took us all over town the next day. You hear about the hills, but they really do stun you when you find yourself driving down them. I am so glad the Metro was not my ride of choice here. We saw everything and even got to drive across the Golden Gate Bridge. It really is impressive. We met one of Tiff's old college friends for dinner, an artist named Lora. She was fun and very hospitable. She took us on foot to the Mission district to get food. On the way she pointed out that they "don't do fast food here." Sure enough there was a shocking low amount of chains there, even Starbucks. We walked all over after another amazing vegetarian, Vietnamese dinner. I was fascinated that Lora didn't have a car, was attempting to live off of her art, and so content with the city around her.

The next day was mostly neighborhood hopping...Haight and Asbury, Castro, more North Beach. I bought Howl at City Lit (the only place to originally publish Ginsberg's famous poem) and a couple top notch Cafe Fantasia's at Cafe Trieste. I won't lie either, I bought The Rock at Amoeba Records (used) to watch on my laptop later.

All in all, it was an amazing trip and an amazing city. Very inspiring. It stunned me that it was cool enough there to require hoodies and jackets in July. Some would hate that (please don't comment just to tell me), but I call it Heaven! I look forward to my next trip, whenever that will be.

Just do yourself a favor though before you go. Watch Eddie Izzard's Glorious first. You'll be glad you did. Oh, and for those still keeping track... I'm officially at 3 months smoke-free! Unbelievable...

Why?

It amazes me that our friends look out for each other the way they do. I was in San Francisco and heard from Tanya in Chicago that a bridge collapsed in Minneapolis (I don't watch TV either). She wanted to know if I had more numbers to try and find out if everyone was alright. I remember a similar group effort in 2001 with our friends in NY.

I have this sneaking feeling, the "why" question will never fully get answered. None the less, it feels a little less scary out there when you know your friends are watching out for you, even from across the country.