I can't breathe but I can run

I did my 12 mi. today as scheduled. My injured leg has been complaining less and less, however my health has yet to return full force. For a guy that hasn't had a cold in 3yrs, this 2 weeks of being sick has been a lot to deal with. After a month of being benched for trying a stupid stunt, I thought perhaps I had done my patience penance already. Apparently the good lord felt I was in need of a bit more. It felt good to log the miles and I honestly tried to ease back in my pace. It only amounted to 30 sec more per mile than marathon pace. While I'd like to take credit for even that modest reduction, I think the inability to breathe and hills brought me down more than good motives. I continue to hear rest suggested and am only in week 2 of my training for Revel Rockies. It's a constant tug of war with endurance training of pushing harder and farther than you feel comfortable and resting responsibly. All of my friends that I've known for longer than 2yrs don't get it. My wife tries hard, but I know she doesn't fully get it. The friends I see at November a Project get it though. They get up and workout at 6:15 in the morning twice a week, run hills for fun and compete (not complete) in marathons, ultras and iron mans though. Not exactly a fair test pool, but I do enjoy my time off the island of misfit toys.   Even with them though my back to back marathons with a PR in each is a head scratcher. All this is to say, I am doing my best to gage how hard to push right now. Sitting drives me nuts. Sweating makes me feel healthier. I loathe laziness, fear atrophy, and believe in inertia. I may be running on fumes to a degree and much earlier than beforehand, but I'm running. I'm ok with friends, colleagues, and acquaintances not getting it. It's not their life or body. I spent a long time not using mine fully and do not intend to let more time go by. I ran 12 mi. today and couldn't breathe quite right. I'm planning on laying low later today and eating good food. After last nights cough fest, I hope for at least a relatively uninterrupted sleep. This is my good. I sure as hell don't know what it all means but, as with so much in my life, I am just trying to make the next right choice.