Etiquette

Thanksgiving weekend is almost over. This year, Tiff and I were on our own with our dinner plans. No one really leaped at our invite the "Second Annual Vegetarian Thanksgiving Smack down." Kinda figured that would be the case and did not mind so much. Nice to have dinner with no expectations. However, the weekend usually has come with awkward family encounters, friends, and strangers mingling that usually don't. For years, I dreaded this holiday as inevitably I would become the topic of conversation for whatever I was doing that was unusual in my family. Whether it be earrings or eyeliner, it was never a comfortable conversation.

I have also marveled at the increased hype towards Black Friday over the years. The craze people descend on shopping facilities is amazing. It also seems to be the cathartic release from being nice the day before. Usually being employed in manners that require working on said Friday, I watch people be damn near brutal towards each other, especially those captive folks that are just trying to earn a paycheck that day.

All this brings me to the point of etiquette. I have such an appreciation for the subject. It seems like a forgotten art, but in line with what I have been more focused on as of late. I believe firmly we can only make it through these tough times by fighting the fights we can on a personal level. Standing up to wrongs in my neighborhood, city, and occasionally courtyard all fit the bill. Using my all mighty dollars where they are deserved also works. The other end of this is treating folks with respect and dignity lest they prove they are not worthy. Courtesy, manners, and etiquette seem lacking so often.

I am not suggesting ridiculous falling over to avoid awkwardness, but simple things like "thank yous" and holding doors. For me, it helps me feel more a part of the human race. It's also an essential aspect to staying out of my own self-indulgent traps. The number of people I have encountered over the last few days that take no account for anyone around them has been tough to take. The percentage is small, but they get the attention.

To me, etiquette is still valuable and applicable today. No I will not throw my leather jacket in the snow for a lady to walk over a puddle, but I will continue to ask folks at counters how their day is. Just needed to rant a little on the matter. Chances are the three readers I have are of a similar elk so for bearing with me on this let me justly say "thank you."

Standing Up

It seems like all around me, people are struggling. My family. My friends. People I am depending on to try and make ends meet. It's only been a year or so since everything went to hell with the economy and it now seems everyday knowledge. We are all getting by best we can. Hell in some ways times are better than they were before. We pay more attention and look out for each other a little more.

That's what I have been paying more attention to lately. I have noticed more everyday opportunities to stand up. My neighbors have been having trouble with a guy hanging out in our courtyard that doesn't live here. I got the chance to talk to him last week. It was an interesting moment realizing I had a choice. I could confront him and tell him to leave or walk away. I talked to him. I also handled it clean despite being met with vulgarity. Other neighbors have done the same now. While it still feels like a minor issue, it got me thinking.

America seems to me to still be a good concept. It feels like I have considered our country to be the responsibility of our government and media to represent who we are. Right now, it seems we are in more need of day to day accountability. It felt good to be able to confront a small situation at my home. It also feels good to tip well when I have received good service. That helps out as well.

Hell, maybe all these things aren't connected but it feel like we can do something each day with how we treat each other. We can have each other's back and we can say when we are tired of being treated unfairly. So long as our society relies on money, we have the say here. "Who is John Galt?"

Today, that feels like something.

Protest

I am actively trying to avoid riding the CTA these days. After nearly ten years of hearing the reports for a doomsday cutback if a budget boost isn't found, I am done with caring.

My relationship with Chicago has been like many other relationships with it's ups and downs. It took a long time to warm up to the Windy City, but I do love it now. I finally figured out why people do which ironically was one of my objectives to be able to leave it. Nope, this is home for now. However, there is a tendency here as of late that disgusts me and that is the perpetual raising of costs. This is a working town where many have found they can enjoy the life of a larger city with the some comforts of the Midwest (ie cars, yards, and occasionally secured parking). The town itself though has raised so many regular expenses, it has become tougher to say we are more accommodating than our larger counterparts. The parking meters have gone through the roof since they were wholesale auctioned off. Our sales tax is stifling at 11% downtown. CTA has already raised their rates in recent years a couple times. Hell, we even started taxing candy more here.

Times are tough. WE ALL GET THAT!

However, you can not continually demand more money from people and expect that when less is coming in they can continue to pay it. Myself, I have removed my Jeep from the never-ending money pit of licensing it here. That keeps me out of the meter war as well. By the by, if your meters are so expensive that people need credit cards swipes to pay, it's too fucking much. Thanks for leaving a few behind to park bikes at though. I also only try to buy locally from shops that are local. the chains have very user friendly websites that avoid not only the 11%, but also the hassles of Michigan Ave. tourists.

And CTA? While I can not get everywhere without you, I certainly can more often than not. You offer inconsistent service, delays routinely, and the good people you do employ that get to be the face of your operation get rewarded by never ending threats of unemployment. Nice. I will continue to bike and walk as often as I can to avoid dealing with you. My protest is simply for my own peace of mind. While my words may do nothing to scare you, the dollars I wield else where will.

Faith

I was just beginning to get changed at the gym this morning when a guy next to me broke the usual silent protocol to ask if I believed in God. Now this is a strange question to get asked by an utter stranger, let alone while in the locker room. Through people close to me that I love, I have learned a degree of willingness to be more open minded to beliefs that are not necessarily my own. Furthermore I have been made aware how difficult it is for those whose faiths are not the most popular, at least in the circles I run in.

A wise man once told me it takes true faith to be willing to stand on the corner and speak of what you believe. He followed quickly with the grounded perspective that one does not necessarily need to do that though. It took a few years to get that. Usually when I was confronted with a religious view different from mine, I bristled with antagonism. Why? It's what someone else believes. Usually though my ire was up because of a deep seated fear they knew their belief better than I knew what I believed. Even when said beliefs were peppered with threats of what should come if I did not believe as they did, there really was no changing that even their threats were just their belief.

Over the years I have broadened my views considerably. I read a long time ago, "be quick to see where religious folks are right." That is more where I am today. I feel it takes a hell of a lot more courage to talk about what you believe in than what you don't. Bashing someone else's beliefs is far more cowardly than vulnerably standing up for what you do believe in. Our first amendment insures us free exercise of religion as well as freedom of speech. That means our doors are open to all. There are bound to be some disagreements. But we each have a right to be here and practice the faith of out choice.

Today, I am more impressed with those that can express their faith than those who attempt to tear others apart. Nowadays, who couldn't use a little more faith? At very least something positive to look toward?

I was glad to answer the man in the locker room, "yes, I do believe in God." That was as far as I needed to express myself there. He spoke further about his belief and we went our separate ways to workout. To me that was a good moment I may have missed before.

Still working on not sneering at Red Wings fans though.

Patience

Patience is not one of my virtues. I occasionally think it might be changing only to discover it was just stubbornness with a shiney veneer. I am referring in this particular case to a number of life events that have developed recently for which I can do nothing at the moment. From loved ones losing jobs in our "improving" economy to as simple as waiting out a suggested 2 week hiatus from running to repair ITB issues. I also have another person close to my heart fighting an ailment to which doctors have told her they don't know what it is and what can be done. They were good enough to tell her it could very well be terminal. Nice. Somehow she has the grace to continue to tackle even the most mundane daily tasks without complaint. I think of that when I feel irritated by some of my recent issues and feel very humble. I have a job (or three on occasion), and place to live, family, and food in the kitchen. For the most part, my needs are all covered. Hell, I am in a better place personally than I was when times were supposedly good for all. Yet, many of the things that I can not force out of my head when trying to go to sleep are of the nature where I can do nothing first hand but offer up my prayers. I know that is not a minor thing to do, but I am more the type that would like to have his hands a little dirty with effort. As it stands though, I must remain supportive and available, should I be of service to those working through their tough times. Patience. It would seem that is less of a virtue and more of a description of being willing. Right now I am that. Right now.