Checking it Twice...

While I have not been shopping this weekend out of principle, I have been considering my holiday shopping. My list seems longer than ever, the people I want to get something for. I am excited, but a little daunted by the sheer numbers of people to buy for. Beyond that though, there are quite a few people that I could shoot in the dark and try and get something they would like, but wish truly they would write a list out. It is so much more gratifying to get something that someone wants. To me that doesn't seem like a cheat so much as a chance for people to grow together the list of things they might not ordinarily buy themselves. Also, if they are at all like me, there are a few things that they just seem never to get around to get.

Perhaps Christmas lists are a bit silly, but they do help.

It's Not Actually a Holiday

It's early on Black Friday and I am up due to an unbelievably early appliance delivery. Tiff and I have no interest in flocking to the stores today as the madness does not seem worth the savings and I have been the poor shmo wearing the name tags today too often to not see how tired they are from the relentless stream of ugly humanity in their faces. Sure it's their job, but increase the en masse they face and give them a higher than average demand perspective and that just makes for a tough day at work. We all have those.

I am still a bit mystified by this whole Black Friday thing. It seemed to me that it began a bit as a joke and now almost rivals Thanksgiving in anticipation and attention. Hell, some companies did not even wait till Friday (what, midnight was just too late??) and started opening shop yesterday evening. I get the deals are good and the timing is right, but it's a manufactured "event" and we all seem to just go along with it. Thanksgiving used to be a day where at the very least you did not have to work and may enjoy a good meal, depending on where you were going. Now the very folks that could count on that one day are being called in sooner and sooner so the folks that didn't have to work can get some big savings. Ah… bitterness…

I suppose it seems like a fair takeover though. Unless you put you textbook down in 5th grade and learned nothing else about the pilgrims and indians after this famous meal, you know the rest of that amiable relationship over a turkey did not pan out well. Greed and demand took over and the rest is generally unmentioned history. I suppose it makes sense we'd develop a shopping holiday to indulge in this disposition.

I, again, have no problem with the idea. The execution is what bugs me. If the stores open on Thanksgiving for Black "Friday," you don't have to go. If you are shopping to take care of you Christmas shopping and buy gifts for everyone, you don't have to wait a month to be nice to people. Lastly, if you don't like the way a business handles sales (carrot dangling) and crowds or even how they seem to treat their employees (as in what time they demand they be away from their families), don't shop there. I can rant. You can complain. Ultimately it is your dollars they will listen to. That right there is your vote.

Trust me, that vote means a lot more than telling an abused clerk/waiter/barista how tough it must be to work on a day like this.

Taper Jitters

The tried and true method of marathon training mandates a taper period before the big day. It is usually about 3 week prior and running is slashed to a minimum. Hell, some even say if you've been fighting an injury or a bug, don't run at all those last weeks. What is usually discovered (and rediscovered) the hard way, is that there is a ton of emotional stuff that lets loose when the endorphins subside after months. You are a junkie in withdrawals and get to just face it. On the upside, instead of running, the highest priority is rest and food. While your nerves and emotions may be running wild like a kid in candy land, you at least get to munch and nap.

One of my reoccurring and subtle foes in the taper is a strange need to get more gear. That is truly stupid since it is also a pretty dumb idea to introduce anything new now. All that flashy gear at bargain prices at the expo? Not for the race you are about to run! What's funny about this particular impulse is that I have all the gear I need and it usually takes me a few days to spot the fear underneath the, "I NEED THAT OR I WILL FAIL ON MARATHON DAY." I still ascribe highly to the Want Less, Do More philosophy and with running, I have already discovered how much unneeded gear stacks up. I have trimmed back and like my utilitarian supply. My dad also enjoys the benefits of my purging and rocks out former shoes (great for wringing, but not racing) and many old tech shirts.

Even though I have been blessed to get this chance to run a marathon a few times, each time it feels new right about now.  Despite the feeling though, I am glad to have the experience to draw on and realize that,  no, I don't need new sleeves or socks to run 26.2 miles this Sunday. I just need to turn the light off and go to bed.

Perspectives Today

I'm excited to get out and stretch the legs a little this morning. After 3 days of rest, the feel ready for a little exercise. I am planning a short run and might even slip on the Vibram 5 Finger to keep my pace managed. I'm also looking forward to getting out and running a few errands today. One of the ways fear seems to manifest itself for me is an urge to shop. I get this compulsion I need stuff to tackle a situation, like running a marathon or starting a new job. It feels convincing till I give it some thought. That's when the fear of the unknown gets exposed and I can remind myself of the guiding principle I have adopted of "want less, do more." That being said, I was able to fairly assess a couple gaps in my wardrobe that need filling prior to starting the new position. I also took time to purge a little further from my closet before hand.

I enjoy getting things done and am starting to see where I can apply this yen towards my new found time.

Digital Junk Drawer

I've recently started trying to clean up some file on my computer, namely my photos. They seem like a virtual vision of throwing them in a drawer for the last 8 years. With many different computers and cameras they all seem to be in different files and organization. I just recently noticed my music also needs some clean and purging as well.

When I moved to LA a few years back, I took my extensive CD collection and moved most of it onto my computer. To my parents chagrin, the now pointless cases are still boxed in their basement. While this allowed for a considerable downsize in space and weight, my music library overflows with filler songs on albums I was never that interested in. This becomes very apparent when out on a run and I just hit shuffle. At least once a run, I recognize a singer or band but have no idea why I have a particular song. There are great artists and groups I love having entire albums of, but certainly not all of them. With the mainstreaming of digital music and photos, the old idea of house cleaning seemed like an unnecessary task. They take minor space and why bother?

Well, it would seem there is good reason to bother. Beyond keeping many junk files from bogging down my machine, it feels good to let go of the stuff that I don't need. Much like finally taking unwanted clothes to donate, getting rid of the songs, albums, and blurry pictures makes me feel better. Technology continues to make so many things easier and faster, but I don't necessarily need to max out my music capacity because I have it. Much like the spirit of the Year of Good, I'd rather have a few beloved tunes than a ton of ehh.

But I Want It...

What is it about the fantasizing about stuff that is so alluring? I firmly believe in the creed of "want less, do more," but it gets so tempting to really dive into the mental shopping for stuff. The latest obsession has been a camping trailer. The why's are irrelevant, but it has a good grip on me as I WANT IT. Hell, I don't even camp yet. That's how the folly of this mental day tripping is obvious to me, when I yearn for something so unnecessary right now. I realize it is probably a byproduct of being on such a tight budget right now, but it's silly when you get to lay it out on the table like that. There is some fun to it, but when it runs away with me it's no good. The helpful element to fantasizing about something so far beyond reach like a camping trailer is I can see the game. When it's easier to convince myself of somethings value, I go a little bonkers.

You have to admit though, that's a cool camper. Heh.

Good Deeds

Helped a dog find its way home tonight with Tiff. Honestly that lifted my whole day. The paradox of feeling better by focusing outside of myself is still elusive. None the less, I am always grateful that I don't have to understand these things to have them work.

Want less, do more.

Simple Consideration

I was enjoying my 4 miler this morning despite the rising temps and relentless sun. It just felt good to feel the wind on the legs and arms, the sun on the face, and smell the trees and grass. My wife and dogs were at home and had made me smile many times already this morning. My family is always exciting to be around. It just was one of those mornings that I stopped and really looked at what I had and was staggered by gratitude. Seriously, given my natural inclinations I should not be this fortunate. I am truly grateful for the moments I get to pause and appreciate.

Don't Be That Guy

Is it just me or do you find yourself often thinking, "what the hell am I doing?" There seems so many times lately where I see how I want to react or be and run screaming towards a less desirable reaction. I want so badly to be more patient, to want less, to be more reasonable. So often though I find myself defending pointless positions and snapping before listening. It's good to have an ideal, but it haunts me sometimes too.

Conflicted

So, I have been spending a lot of time considering the concept of want less, do more. It's a beautifully simple notion that truly appeals to me. Now that being said, I just moved into a new home. The list of needs and wants have radically increased. Things I never thought about, like ant stakes and wheel baraoughs are suddenly holding sway. Hell, I got a charge last night when I ordered a lawn mower. It's hard, because when the wallet opens a little I always fear it won't stop. It's always all or nothing, and balance is a silly pipe dream. While I know that isn't true, the fear is enough.

I am walking that fine line trying to take it easy and do the most important thing next. It is throwing my theory into some challenging practice to be sure.

I Need What?

Here's an age old debate for me. I am often prone to determining I need stuff. Usually it's just a heavy case of want. Conversely, I tend to put off the needs way too long. Well the wild thing with the new dwelling situation is that those lists have gone  a little crazy. I am still striving towards the "want less, do more" idea. However here, I truly don't know what are needs. I know we needed window coverings as I have never known before and my decorative front lawn was up to my dog's belly till Scott let me borrow his lawn mower last Sunday. It feels destructive to keep buying things, but yet there are new "needs."

Wanting Less

Over the last couple days, a few areas of my life seem to have accelerated a tad. I am trying to keep up and keep in touch. The simple phrase keeps going through my mind, "want less." It's occasionally followed with, "do more." Not sure what that all means but thought I"d throw that out there to the ethos. Maybe it'll come back clearer.