Yoga Monday

This is so not me by the way.

Part of my training is going to yoga on Mondays. I truly used it during the last marathon and can't help but feel it added to a new PR of better than 12 minutes. I used it last time, but did not try classes till about halfway through my training program. It's still hard as all get out for me. No distance running or weight training experience seems to lend itself to any ease in class.Plus it is summer and I am always hot, thus there is the added flattering aspect of sweating my tail off. Honestly, I haven't sweat like this since Defiant Theatre's The Pyrates (I brought a towel just for act one).

What's different is that I don't care as much that I am pretty lousy with the yoga. I have finally accepted the tenant of yoga that if you are working, you are doing it correctly. I am not limber and agile like my classmates or wife, but I am working. The sweat is a dead giveaway. I am relaxed though and laughing a lot more than I used to. I managed to get into a pose tonight and immediately chuckled and fell over. It's fun and somehow is helping me get faster at 26.2 miles.

Smart Funny Life

I am a huge fan of comedy. I truly love it. I have also been turned a little discerning when it comes to the laugh grabbing. There are a few styles I am not a fan of and have learned through experience, classes, and exposure are just cheap and unrewarding. Among those are the cruel and self deprecating approaches. They don't even try. It's an easy out for someone looking to not do much. At Second City, we were constantly pushed to be smarter in our satire. It showed me that saying something important also relies on how you say it. In Theatre Sports back in Ft. Collins, we were pushed to play it clean and be honest. Potty humor was a trap and ultimately made for a weak show. It took smarts to avoid those easy outs. It also took guts to be honest on stage with a bunch of strangers watching. What was shocking was that truth was the funniest thing we could offer.

As I am seeking some changes in my life right now, I am reflecting a bit on these lessons. My approach to the challenges before me have fallen into the weaker categories I just described. I am slowly seeing how they are not working so well. It caused this reflection as I realized I know better than this, if only for what makes a great performance. I need to apply some of those lessons more broadly it would seem.

See This Show!

So I was just doing the usual surfing over Facebook posts while sipping my first cup of coffee. I started clicking links and was soon watching videos my incredibly talented friend (and occasional minister) posted about his ongoing show City Love Song. Not only was I reminded yet again how impressive this show is, but I was humbled by a simple principle I seem to have lost lately. I have been heartily focused on my challenges quitting smoking and been unfortunately focused upon myself. That aim has never relieved me of any difficulty. When I can focus outwards and say try to help someone else out, the miracle happens that I feel better.

Now what does all that have to do with Jack and City Love Song? Easy. He is launching one of the most incredibly ambitious tours VERY SOON. Chances are, if you are reading this you either live in a city he will be visiting (NYC is the first spot) or you might know someone in one of his global stops. If you do, GO SEE THIS SHOW or tell your friend to. It's delightful and fun and a truly unique experience.

As for your Captain here, I think I might try spending a little more time discussing the awesomeness around me, rather that the temporary irritations of quitting the cigarettes. That is even boring to me. Thank you all for the support and I will keep you updated!

Friggin Great Project to Know About

More on my New York Adventure very soon, but wanted to share this in hopes you can help or spread the word (which is helping too)!

Jack's Show

Showdown at Dry Gulch

Quick Update

Scott and I are just wrapping up our trip up here to Minneapolis. In fact we fly out to Colorado in a couple hours. It has been a great trip and much love to all our friends up here that made it so damn much fun. We will be in Pueblo on Thursday with our show and then back up in the Denver area through next week. The show came together pretty nicely. It went too quickly.

Hit and Miss

I got word last week from Steppenwolf. That word was no. Boo. What's worse is I had to find out in a truly TV sitcom fashion. When I applied in January, I did not know where to use as an address in April. I chose my folks place in Denver. My Dad had to read the letter to me over the phone. I am really pretty OK with it, but I don't know what else I could have given them. Now common sense tells me, it may not have had anything to do with me. That, however, is of little consolation. On the up shot, I no longer have to wonder what my next few months will be like.

This opened the door for Tiffany and I to look for a place to move sooner rather than later. We have been making the best of Erin's condo in Roger's Park. Both of us have developed affinities for parts of the neighborhood. One for me is the coffee shop I am writing from right now, The Common Cup. It still is not the place we want to stay for long though. It takes me forever to get to and from work downtown, even with an express bus. Additionally, it is still not the safest neighborhood. It has improved drastically since Cory and Rick lived up here and I spent my first night in Chicago with them. I did have to wait for a moronic would-be fight to be dispersed just to get into the cafe though.

We have discussed several places we would like to live ranging from Andersonville to Bucktown. It would seem though that fate is moving us towards a familiar apartment in Lakeview. Known as the Boiler Room by my friends, we are seriously considering Noah and Jason's place. They have both decided to move back to Colorado to pursue their own interests there. The place is available when we want it and is a great deal. We both love the neighborhood and apartment. Plus, Freddie and Laurel live just upstairs. It feels a little like an episode of Friends. None the less it would be a tremendous relief to have this go through and know where we are going to live so long as we are in Chicago. My hope is to follow in the footsteps of its current tenants when the time comes.

Lastly, I am taking off on Saturday for Minneapolis to join Scotty in a brief National Theatre for Children tour. We rehearse in Minnie for 3 days and then head out to Colorado ourselves for 4 days of festival performances. The whole thing feels nostalgic and fun. I have not worked for them since 2004, so it will be great to see everybody up there again. I am also excited to see a lot of Colorado too.

Bringing the Art Back

This is my theme for the new year, a concept I borrowed from Cody years ago. Former years were less noble. "Rampage" was my 2005 theme and the all too difficult, "Don't Fall Down" from 2001. This one I like though. Despite which time zone I happen to call home at any given point this year, I would like an extra portion of art with it. That even goes for LA, should I be returning anytime soon. I realize that saying LA itself deprives me of art is a bit of a cop out, it's there. Maybe it's under a heavy sheet of protective plastic, but it's there.

Being back in Chicago for a little while has reminded me that you can perform anywhere, anytime... if you want it bad enough. There may be a lot more stages here with less bullshit involved to get on them, but you have to want it pretty bad here too. No one I know has the theatre company they thought they would with their college friends, the one that just about guarantees they can play there. We all know people that talk about it (hell even a few did it), but the people I know are not in those companies. I remember hearing 3 things at Colorado State that still seem true. Two of them were delivered from guest artists and one from a beloved professor. They are:

"...(you get jobs in art by) pounding on doors long enough you can get a foot in before they can slam it in your face..."
-Art Chantry
"...you can't get cast in a show? Write one..."
-Gary Austin
"...(as a performer) be loved or hated, but never tolerated..."
-Morris Burns

I find myself looking at a familiar dilemma as when I was in LA. While I was out there, I had to decline a number of shows because I was unable to commit to a stage rehearsal schedule in a film town. Working as a PA, I could not say I would be available Sun through Thur from 7-10pm for 4 weeks. My average day as a PA was 14hrs and I could almost guaran-danm-tee you if I had something planned for after 14hrs, we'd go 16hrs. I barely finished one level of classes at ioWest because of that.

The similarity for me right now is that I came out here to work a holiday season back at the Girl, when money would be good. Now that turned out to be less true than I hoped, but none the less that season ends next week and I will have to hitch myself to a new train to make some cash. I don't know if it will be here in Chicago either. There still is no resolution to the strike out West, so going back is not so appealing. To be in LA just working as a PA without any promise of other work would be like dropping out of college to stay at the video store you worked at. Why bother? Money is good and the stories are fun to tell, but the reality was not so great. I do miss some great people out there though!

So write a show. That would fit into my ideals right? Maybe. Being here, the ideas are flowing again. I would love to paint again too, but living out of a suitcase, I just didn't pack my brushes. Photoshop is great, but only goes so far. I do hope to see some more art this year though. Of all my resolutions, that is the one I am most excited about.

So happy 2008 to you! If you are of the artistic persuasion, I hope to see some art from you as well. I know some tremendously talented people that fill my world with ideas and laughs. Whatever you chose for yourself this year, put on some good music and go for it with no reserve, even if it is as simple as "fall down less."

Windy City Love

I got in last night just after midnight. I was in an audition for a national commercial less than 12hrs later. So here's my weird universe story. Scotty was over yesterday morning and while he was getting ready to go to breakfast at Lucile's Denver, I looked up my agent in Chicago to send an email letting them know I would be in town for a few weeks. I could not find an email, so I decided I would call later in the day. Less than 2 minutes later, my phone rings from said agent with an audition today. I never told them I was coming. Weird

After my audition downtown I ran a couple errands, refamiliarizing myself some with Chicago sights and sounds. It felt so good to be walking around town. I missed it here a lot. Over the last couple weeks or so I have had to clarify my perspective on Chicago often. It seems those that know me well are fond of reminding me with knowing smiles that I truly did not like the Windy City very much for a long time when I first got here. That is true, I called it the town "I loved to hate."

However, after a few years of doing my best to get out of town on children's theatre tours, I started to warm up to it here. That last 2 years were friggin' fun. After all, I got to work on 6 consecutive shows with only 2 weeks down time in 15 months during one stretch. I have a great agent here that continues to help me even in LA. Plus the people are fantastic too.

Now what makes LA any different from Chicago, based on my timeline? For starters, I enjoy stage work more than film. What LA can offer is exciting and interesting, for sure. I love the constant energy there. Everyone is just one call away from fame and secure rent. That's cool. Artists should be able to earn their pay doing what they love and have sacrificed for. I, however, prefer the connection with people too much to want to leave theatre for long. Now true there is a lot of theatre in LA, some of which you don't even have to pay to play in. It is tougher there to carve away that sort of time there. If you can, you find the higher caliber of people out there for sure. LA is like all huge cities in that it is full of transplants. Hell, a good chunk of my favorite company in Chicago now live there. Guess "nothing is safe" now in LA.

The other, rather inflexible point against LA for me and me alone is that I don't like heat and sun for long. I don't. I prefer storms to get my creative wheels turning. I caught a little flack for coming to Chicago for Nov. and Dec. for this. Last year in LA, we had a couple days in the 100's at the end of Nov. Nothing like getting a Christmas tree in shorts and a tank top, wondering if an off season AC unit would fit in the car too. That's just not for me.

While I can admit, LA and Chicago have very similar starts for me, I don't believe LA will grow on me the same way. This town is closer to a NY vibe and that tempo is the one I enjoy. LA is fun and blessedly unapologetic. I am fascinated by a city so proud of itself and detested by everyone else. I continue to try and bite my tongue and just learn.
For now though, I love being in Chicago again. It's chilly and threatening snow and I could not be happier. I am learning what to like about LA. I miss Chicago and appreciate everything it did for me. Colorado is now and will always be home.

Real?

I got a haircut today. Yeah, kinda slow news day. I was chatting though with the woman that was doing the much needed chopping. We were talking about being an actor. It's sorta a standard LA thing to tell someone you are an actor. Pretty much, who isn't. Hell I'd be willing to bet you shake a Starbucks anywhere here and you will have 4 SAG cards on the ground.

None the less, when she found out I actually preferred to work onstage, she then said, "oh, you're a real actor." Under my little haircut smock I welled with pride for a moment. "Yes that's right I am, " I thought. Hell, I've received stiches for a stage fight, toured a lot of the country, performed in 6 consecutive shows, and graduated from Second City Chicago. I spent more time in a state I was rehearsing one year than the state I lived in. I was once a pirate for 5 months. All said I have cause the reproduction of my headshot over a 1000 times. A kid in Watertown, Wisconsin has my autograph (and I have his, he was 5). I am a real actor! Right?

What got me was when the conversation continued. We were talking about the effort and pains of getting the job. Of the strnge reality that someone can not give you a job because you are too short, too loud, too named after one of their ex's and would be a nuisance to try and get over. To me, it's still just a game. It takes a lot to stay at the table sometimes, but the game itself still does not bother me. I still giggle remembering crashing the Wicked auditions here as #534 with an acapella version of Selfishman by Floggng Molly. Still don't know why they never called.

I like what I do. I love making people hate me as a villain and laugh when I am a clown. I know it's sentimental sounding, but sometimes you have to just say it. Otherwise, you might forget. No one else is really interested in reminding you how great it is to be an actor in real life. There are 3 more waiting for a haircut next.

Hmm...

Chicago, Seattle, New York, Denver...

When...

I am still throwing ideas around in my mind about departure from LALA land and the reasons. Artistic and carreer goals... everything is sorta blending in my mind. In some ways I feel like George Jetson and am ready to get off the dog walker. Yet on the other hand, I am not even remotely beaten down by this town. I am amused as always here. The truly serious types I find here make me giggle a little to hear them talk. I understand a seriousness necessary, but they aren't even talking about being better actors. Mostly it's about being better shmoozes (imortant here, don't get me wrong). Eh...


I had an audition on Monday for a workshop group and got to do a scene with a partner in front of the group. I was given the role of a Tom Cruise wuss. It was so fun. I truly delivered it like I was on stage and that was my only note... to bring it back a little. All I could think was how I would rather find the place where that was right. A stage.

Stay tuned campers and be sure to vote for your favorite town! Winners will receive a souvenir t-shirt (even if it's Albuquerque)!

Oregon...

I decided to head up here to Oregon to audition for their Shakespeare Festival. My director from Marriage of Heaven and Hell started working up here and suggested it. To be honest, at the time it sounded as easy as friends out of the business saying, "you should get one of those shows on TV." Sure. No problem. I sent an e-mail.


Lo and behold they invited me to audition. They only hold open auditions twice and they are by invite only. Here's the other kicker: They are only here in Ashland, OR. I you are like I was then let me tell ya where Ashland is. It's in the Southwest corner of the state, about 15 miles North of the CA border. It's fairly hilly and very woody around here. I like it.

I booked the trip a little late, thanks to the disappearing feature film job. None the less I got everything booked and took off Fri about 3pm. I was a little startled to walk through the doorway in San Francisco to board my plane for Medford and decend stairs to the tarmack. Yes, I had to take the plane you see to your left. A Rockstar coffin. It was actually pretty cool. Imagine getting in an RV and then it goes airborn. Unless you are a world famous musician or a Kennedy, I recomend trying a puddle-hopper sometime. It was super fun.

It is really nice being up here. My last experience in OR was years back with a huge group from CSU. If this tells you anything as to time, some of us were excited about moving to London soon on that trip. Heh. Ashland is really nice, but I am certain it is infinitely better for those who are tired of the smog and congestion of a major city. I have walked all over town several times over now. My audition went great. I am always thrilled to just give everything I've got and be able to walk away content. For me, it's a 2 minute show. I love it. The reaction seemed good as well. But lets face it, even the guy selling you a lottery ticket can smile.

Whatever the outcome, this has been a much needed repreive from the hussle of CA. I am glad to get some fresh air and see genuine trees. Hell, there's even some snow peeking out at the top of a nearby mountain.

Yes, it is ironic...

It has been an interesting time of self discovery as far as acting goes. The adventure of the feature film vs. the license plates was exciting. Sadly, it turned out to be a lesson for lesson's sake. The film folks were never that great about communication, calling with little or no information. Well, as soon as my head popped out of my ass and I said I was ready to commit to the project, all within the time I was offered to do just such a thing, they renegged. I was told via voicemail they were reading someone else for my part and would let me know. They way I grew up, that meant I would be contacted. In Hollywood, that means we won't talk to you again if we like this guy. The latter proved true.

While this could have been a real pisser, I am not so bummed. I got a serious priority check and feel grateful. The film folks were a little bent on the rehearsal process too. They insisted on several rehearsals, demanding perfect line reads even while sitting in an uncomfotable row with chairs next to each other. The email also seemed more to request perfection in every word than process. I tend to be more of a shoot from the hip guy, enjoying the keep it fresh approach. However, I also seldom feel a performance couldn't have been a little better.

How much preparation is enough and for me when is it too much? I know there are several actors (probably even on my block) that have trained extensively for what they do. I occassionally envy this knowledge. Then again, I watch their performances and wonder if they even realized they have dissected the life out of the character. I treasure my improv skills and always feel a connection in that I can react as my characters should the show veer from the text. I lso know I need to get some more training. Th desired result is to have the know-how and be able to use it sellectively, keeping the characters still fresh and in the moment.

And yet, in Hollywood acting is so little about skill for most of us. The old adage of "who you know" is apt in any large city it would seem. It certainly helped in Chicago. Here it is the only way to even get seen. Contacts are the acting Google map. I am slowly backdooring my way towards my final SAG voucher. Contacts I have made on set with other PA's, AD's, and even a Gangboss are paying off. I feel at times like a whiney bitch continually playing out my delema of trying to get my final 3rd voucher. However, I deliver these plights as a challenge and am findin repeated mentions are gaining me allies. Our Gangboss on the Trojan job was a good friend (and fellow Bronco fan) and made a call for me. As it stands right now I will be called to do a SAG background job on Wed or Thur. I got the job by describing myself on the phone. By the by, try this once for practice so you don't feel as odd if ever asked. Just a suggestion I recently experienced. As for the job, I will cellebrate when the film is rolling.

Lastly, I depart this Fri for Ashland, OR for a huge Shakespeare festival audition. I am so excited to go, but have never put so much effort into just getting to an auditon. I drove from Chicago to Dtroit for a Second City audition once. So far that's it. To me getting this OR job would be a life-saver. I would get out of this spiritless, rainless city for a while and get to feel artistic again. More than anything I am excited to get up there and just try. I have always felt my tallent is tempered with a serious tenacity. Better, more skilled actors than I have long since given up the stage. I hang in there. It's the only thing I really want to do. So I keep showing up. I crash Wicked auditions with Flogging Molly songs.

By the by. It rained last weekend here. I can honestly say there are times when LA is beautiful.

Priorities

Decent jobs have been hard to come by this year so far. It has been a lot like change jar savings. A day here a couple there. They help, to be sure. But these jobs have been slim though. When I caught wind that a job may be coming through the end of this month for a nice fat 6 days, I got a little excited. That excitement doubled when not one but two jobs fell through for the week before.

On day one though I found out that the Fri. schedule was actually a night shoot. Where I thought I would have no conflict with the last two days of my show, suddenly I was going to lose one of them. This show and this cast has actually become prety fucking important to me. It may not be the finest theatre in the world, but for me it has felt like an oasis of brave art in a plastic city.

All this aside, I found I was given a choice by my boss that does not always come for a PA. She said that because I was unaware of the night shoot, I could opt to be covered for that night. I tossed and turned all night trying to decide what to do. On one hand it was money, sorely needed. On the other hand, a priority list exsists for just such an occassion. I have survived as a performer by remembering what is most important. Often times (4-5 times a week), the quest for money seems paramount. However, by remembering what is ultimately my goal I can make the tough choices.

This time it did not seem so simple. I have a host of bills coming in after way too many change jar jobs and way too many fallen-through jobs. It sucks to acknowledge that my new line of work, while lucrative, is no more reliable than waiting tables or hoping for hours at the Buck. I chose to work. This time I could do it because I would have my closing night. This time I could do it beacuse it was just once. None the less, this rationel seems all too familiar...

The outcome was positive though. I retained my 6th day when it was questionable and because I gave up a performance I got a 7th day too. I also had a smashing closing night. It was the most fun I've had on stage in a while.

Riding the low tide

I have noticed how great the sway of momentum is as of late. I went through a great spell of success last fall that gave me quite a push. A couple indy films, a couple commercials, and a few stage castings... it all was coming fast and loose. I felt as if I could do no wrong. This of course was just a perception. In fact, I did plenty wrong I am sure, but it did not feel as dire.

Since I have been back from the holidays, things have felt tighter. Less PA jobs coming in for shorter stints, less auditions, and consequently less castings. In Chicago, it was bitter sweet to hear a friend get a role. You were happy for them, but it meant they had a role in one of the productions you did not. There was a wait time for the next one to come around. Here, so much happens so quick, it is not possible to know of all the auditions. Here friends and aquaintences are getting the breaks everyday. You find yourself feeling at odds. Here in the explossive battlefield of acting paydays, it would seem like you really just need to be standing in the right place at the right time. I was PA'ing on a commercial shoot with a now well-known robot arm in a conveinience store. The store owner would not just remain still, out of camera rnge and gave us a hell of a lot of dificulty (PA wise). Low and behold, the clients thought he would be a good addition to the scene and BOOM, there he is in front of the camera. This guy got a SAG voucher and a potential Super Bowl spot. Just like that. For beeing a jack-ass that would not remain still. I am relieved to see his portion never made it into the spot though.


So what a to do when the water is low, so to speak. How to garnish that momentum, when there is none to ride. I bought a Jeep. That felt good. Unfortunately, it's also making me all too aware of the days the phone is not ringing right now. It's an interesting delema. For now I am content and riding out the drought. Check with me next week and I may be ready to comit to a graphic design program ASAP.