Small Steps

I've been working my way through a bit of a funk as of late. It's not ever-present, which makes it a lot more elusive to do battle with. I am resolved though to take the steps necessary to get through it. That feels better, in and of itself. It's as my Mom likes to remind me of the saying, "when your walking through hell, keep walking." I like that, even if I like to minimize my own discomfort. It surly isn't "hell" but left unchecked will cause tremendous havoc. Today I keep walking, knowing the things in my life to stay grateful for. That's enough for today, I suppose.

Making Time from Scratch

Tonight I got to pause in the midst of a busy, busy schedule to grab coffee with some friends. It helped immensely, even just seeing them for an hour. I am stunned how time avails itself when you align priorities.

Why?

From time to time, it pays to ask that little question. Hell, it's not even a question. It's a word. Yet it does so much when thrown in the mix. It has prevented me moving on and other times it has finally released me. Tonight, not sure which side of that coin it is, but I am saying why? Either freedom or more hamster wheel await me.

Kinda Kinder

Malls are more than a little odd to me. I attempt to deny working at one, but someone tarnished my favorite delivery subs reputation recently, so I am braving the food court. This is one  wierd place to try and grab a bite. rougher still if ou are mostly vegetarian. None the less, the last thing I need is to contemplate how different I may be from those around me. My paradox is to love all, even if I don't like  them. That's where it' harder and what truly makes a man.

Next Right Step

After a fairly difficult week, I am grateful to be focusing on the road ahead. There is much to do and much to be grateful for. If I can keep that perspective, all should be well.

What's it all about?

Humility, as I understand it, is the art of being right sized. I am sure this has come up here before as it is one of life's themes I routinely pay attention to. It would seem life is constantly adjusting that size also. My contentedness seems to ebb and flow based on the degree I am unwilling to adjust with life. Maybe this is the tie in to the "want less, do more" mantra stuck in my head?

So for today I am asking for those that stand against me to get what I would want for myself so as I may walk free of them. Oddly when doing this though, I really crave spilling hot coffee on myself at times. Heh.

Simple

With so much in the air and big changes coming, it has been easy to get distracted lately. My mind drifts from the moment often and I wonder why I start feeling the dreaded restless, irritable, and discontentedness creeping on. The last couple days have been very stormy here in Denver and for some reason that kind of weather always snaps me back to the here and now. When I keep things very simple and very now, I tend to stay in better moods and am far better, ironically, at planning for the upcoming tasks.

Also, my wife likes me better when I am less cranky. :)

Today

I put in a quick 4 miles this morning before heading off to work. My job is challenging me to keep a positive outlook on a daily basis, yet I am as always grateful to be employed. My wonderful wife is busily taking care of several odds and ends on the homefront today. Thus is par when we have a day offm good team work. Tonight we are heading up again to loiter in front of our house, hoping to see another sign of progress. All this makes me so very aware whata lucky bastard I am. Grateful as hell today.

Right Sized

I was reading this morning, again, about humility. The usual understanding I have held is that it is the ability to stay right sized, not too big nor too small. Today it was talking about taking care of my own needs so that I may be better suited to help when there is an opportunity. It struck me as interesting and I always seem to devote some Stupie time to those thoughts. I am a big, big fan of humility though. I have found inevitably without it I face humiliation. 

Head Space

I am noticing a few people have had the ability to really get into my head and stay there. It's frustrating and i am doing all the suggested things to remove them, but they are just lingering. It ain't good, not healthy for sure. Sadly though, there I am. I'm publicly owning it to try and help. I believe the man that told me you can not save your ass and your face at the same time. However, I do believe that when the frustrating thinking causes me to act embarrassingly, it's good motivation to try and save the ass then.

It is as the cliche says, "it's not you, it's me." I am damn certain I do not want to wait for the irritations of my life to pass before I get to be happy.

19

One Day at a Time! Very grateful...

Gratitude

I had the opportunity last night to talk with some friends and do more than a little reflecting on the road I have traveled to get where I am today. To say the least, it made me considerably grateful. I regularly try to keep a perspective of thanks, as I am convinced utterly I have been well taken care of for many years. My whole life really, but later years I became far more aware of it. Just thought it might behoove me some to speak to that more often. To me, gratitude unacknowledged is like ice in the sun, it's gone before you know it.

Routine

The on thing 2010 has not had a lot of is routine. While that word has made me cringe on more than one occasion, it has also proven itself to be a solid foundation for high productivity. Over the last week, I have begun to see some elements of routine beginning to form. It has felt like relief. I have had much more time available and a new found sense of energy. Much like the calm after a storm, there has been considerable lack of direction in its wake but slowly I feel some progress. I may actually achieve the final goal for 2010. Stay tuned.