Movember!

November 1st

November 30th

I didn't do much in the way of raising any funds for the cause but I did rock out the no shaving of the upper lip for a month. As predicted, I do look a little ridiculous, but I am ok with that. It helps to never take yourself to seriously. I plan on doing this again next year and am hoping to actually raise some funds and cohorts to do it with. My brother rocked out a fantastic mustache. It's a great cause and a fun way to do it. None the less, tomorrow's date Smith the clippers is going to be good.

Thumbnail Writing

Sometimes I set down to say something on here and the TV in my mind just goes blank. Ordinarily, that would be just a real good time to shut the hell up. However I sight the mind numbing thumbnail exercise from my college design classes (btw, thanks for never mandating we use the computers! Graphic design on a computer was just a fad.). The exercise was to jot as many crude layouts as you could in a short amount of time. We are talking 7 seconds each and they were the size of thumbnails essentially. While 98% of these fast sketches were utter crap, after enough time you were thawing anything you could down and thusly you found an idea you would not have come to when going with some of the first ones. At times the ideas were truly inspired. Other times they were just good directions. What was cool was seeing something you put down without thinking too much about it.

What does that have to do with this here, lonely blog? Well, I endeavor to write daily (if possible) and can honestly say I don't have daily words of even Stupie caliber wisdom. What I do have is a willingness to just jot them down and maybe flush out an idea I hadn't really considered before. Like the subject of tonights piece. No idea this was what this would be about.

Moments of Ah

With the move last week and the entirely new living environment, normal has felt pretty distant as of late. Slowly the little things are coming back that bring on that ah feeling. Brewing a pot of coffee in the morning, going for a run, or even just playing with the dogs. It makes me aware if how those little things are what actually makes home feel like home. Tiff and I are getting settled and the dogs seem pretty happy with their new digs too. I am looking forward to feeling more of those moments as they come and am grateful to appreciate them. Thanks for all the support and encouragement we have been blessed with!

Mental Music

I realized yesterday I had been dining an odd 80's tune in my head for what seemed like quite a while. I hadn't really been paying attention but have picked up on this as a recent trend. Weird songs will be playing in my head for what seems like a long time and I'm not even aware if it. It's like muzac or white notice I am making. Why does this happen? It's not as if I am not already burdened with trying to not over think most if my life but I have added a soundtrack? It wouldn't be so bad if I could just get better dings in there but the unaware part makes that seem unlikely. Here's hoping today's tunes will be good and the thoughts more quiet. How awesome would that be to hear the greats while not wasting mental energy in pointless directions?

Post Move

The move is now in the books and most of the boxes have been unloaded. This is my first day off in what feels like weeks. I am about to lace up and head out for my first run in a week. The little normals that are resurfacing are quite comforting. It's odd how even having moved so often there continues to remain an odd skepticism that the home feeling will return. It always does to a degree. There are places like our place apartment in Chicago that will forever have set the bar pretty high, but each and every place I have called home has eventually found that inexplicable element. For me, getting the Asics on and getting out the door will help with that here.

I can, I will.

Just finished a 16 hour day that was originally just supposed to be 8. I am awfully grateful to have heard the phrase, "ask for a stronger back instead of a lighter load." I try to live up to that as often as I can and while I am not out climbing mountains and carrying on dramatic Travel Channel adventures, I do believe there is something to be said for the chin forward, take it on perspective. The folks I consider heroes always run towards the fray and never seem to say "I can't, I'm too tired." My sleep deficit has got to be astounding, but at the same time, I am always more glad I said yes when something extra comes up, whether it be coffee with a friend after a long grueling day or just staying to work a double when a coworker is sick. I can, I will.

Slimming down

Everything feels like its on hold to a degree. We move in a couple days and it seems most of my life feels on hold till we get over that hump. I know I am certainly looking forward to city living once again. There's an odd self searching though that happens when it comes time to pack your home up. You get to truly take stock of all the things you keep and sometimes don't even thin about. I was excited to buy a home and not move again for a while. That turned out to not be the case this time. What I am glad for is the paring down that happens with frequent moving. Neither Tiff or I like to have too much stuff around and for an entire house, the stack of boxes isn't all that great. We like also that we can easily slim down to a smaller place. We enjoy a more simple living than others. So the useless things get binned, the items that can sell do, and other things find more receptive homes. It feels good to lighten the load some. That being said, I have to load a bike into the Jeep to donate to a friend tomorrow and know I will lose that motivation at 5am.

Break from the packing.

We are down to less than a week to moving day. That is a day that is all too familiar to Tiff and I and not for nothing,but we are pretty good at this. We are highly organized and everything is ready to go when the truck arrives. It seems the least you can do for the good people that are willing to come out and lend a hand. 

The things to pack are getting more sparse, and I am starting to feel we are ahead of the "to do" list. It feels good to see the progress. The weight of the move is still settling in. There is excitement and anxiety to get going. It's going to be a fun move.

Intertia

I have a lot of trouble not moving. I am always in motion it feels and for the most part I never feel frustrated by it. With an imminent move and an unusually timed vacation, I am feeling the crunch of getting everything packed and ready to go. I have been working and then working since around 4am and am just now beginning to slow a bit. I can't even give myself shit for not running today after a haul like this. Hell, my calves feel like I just pulled a quick 10mi anyways. I feel like I am moving towards some smoother waters, but still have a lot on my plate. I'm grateful for a strong back today and will continue to ask for the strength needed. Who the hell wants an easier load?

Gate Attendants

Every now and again I feel truly compelled to say thank you to an otherwise thankless job. Today, I salute the airline gate agents. It is an unbelievable task to ask people to line up when they should to board. Every passenger has a ticket telling them when and yet you all seem so overwhelmed with folks that just don't get it. Their seat or boarding group just doesn't register to them that they have a specific time to stand there. How they made it to you thus far remains a mystery. Why they took exit 34 to get the airport than what would seem likely exit 12, given when they line up. So, gate attendants, I say thank you for constantly telling people A comes before B and rows 20-35 does not include row 12.

Home away from home

It has been so good just being back in Chicago. We've seen familiar favorites and great friends. There's just something about a place when it becomes home that doesn't fade years after it isn't. I don't know how to describe it, but it's like a comfort. It's also a vague irritation that your couch resides elsewhere when you want to put your feet up.

Anger 101

It's truly tough for me when I have a head of steam to let it go. The adage that seems so applicable is one that asks, "would you rather be happy or right?" Without a lot of natural stock in happy, I generally decide without much consideration. Thusly I find myself as I am now, trying to release the anger and not take out anything else in my life while trying this. Like this, I have no skills or redeeming qualities. Like this, I am bad company. Like this, I want to be far from people. Like this, god is just a concept and a distant one at that.

Sadly, only through the latter can I get out of this angry rut. So I'll go with happy and take counter intuitive direction. Lucky for me, like baking a cake, I don't have to believe in the recipe for it to work.

Chicago!

Man it feels so good to be back in the Windy City. This town definitely grew on me and I have been surprised at how much I have missed it since returning to Colorado. We had some time on our hands after we arrived and just got to chill in a couple old haunts for a while. The ability to just unwind somewhere without an agenda felt so natural, at times it was hard to remember we didn't live up the street. There is still just something so comfortable about feeling at such ease in such a large city.

Airport Musings

As is tradition, I am spending a portion of my airport time here at Stupie. It's always a little exciting to sit at the airport for me, no matter what TSA tries to do to dehumanized the experience. This seems to be one of those things that will always bring out a bit of the kid in me. Honestly, I treasure and try to protect those moments. In my heart I know I am a believer and often try to guard and mask it in a world of skepticism and derision. In truth, I love being excited by this world. Why else are we here?

Timeout

So we are in the process of selling our home and buying a new one. The time crunch is on and yet we are about to go on a bit of a forced respit. There is a wedding we made plans to attend out of state and while the idea of suddenly doing something not completely productive sounds nits, I'm a little excited to get a forced break from it. Richard prior said it best when he said, "God can make you take five."

Election Night

The election has just been called and President Barack Obama will serve another term. Personally I am more than pleased than I need to express with the results. Beyond that, with such a close race, I am truly hoping to hear another gratifying result some point soon and that is that there was a record turn out to vote. The only thing that genuinely disgusts me is apathy. I have a close friend that abstained from voting and held well calculated reasons for doing so. Most people, especially here in a swing state, that said they weren't voting were because they didn't care. I understand the idea that it can feel like a single vote doesn't count for much. Hell, the electoral college alone can make a single vote seem pretty insignificant. None the less, it's what we get to do. It's not much. You study, you learn, you decide, and then you get off your ass and vote. It's not complicated. The idea of not doing it because you just don't like the choices does not mean a choice doesn't get made.

I hate very few things in this beautiful world of ours more than apathy, atrophy, and laziness. For those that voted, thank you! For those that cared enough to try and encourage people to vote, thank you. Thank you to all the people that helped us vote today. My hope is tomorrow we get to move forward together. It is so much easier to tear something down than build it up. It seems even tougher to believe.

PSA

Just a little PSA from the Stupie offices, change your passwords periodically. Someone has been trying to get in mine as of late and it's generally just a good idea before you inadvertently send your brother-in-law an email about a great new prescription web site. That is all.

Go vote tomorrow.

Now that really is all.

Patience

Taking steps towards a goal can be satisfying, but also frustratingly slow. I've been in the process right now for a while and I know this is not on my time frame. None the less, I do believe powers beyond me are at work and I just need to keep walking. A wise man once told me, "God will help you move mountains, but you better bring a shovel." I just have to fight the urge to grab a power tool.

So Much Being Said

I don't know about you, but I am pretty ready for election day to finally get here. It seems over the last month there has been a barrage of ads, speeches, and flat out chest thumping every where I turn. Even the jazz station I turn to when I need to cool off has been beating the vote drum. I do believe we all should vote and I believe that passionately. What I have been trying hard to keep in mind this year is how to believe passionately while listening to those that may disagree with me. I have tried even further to keep my own views to myself unless actually asked. Over the campaign months, I ca tell you exactly how many people have asked who I am supporting and out of those, the very few that have inquired why. What I have come away from this maelstrom of campaigning with is the clear understanding that more people would rather tell me what to believe than find out why I do believe as I do. A wise man once told me serenity and tolerance can be found when you can hear someone screaming to the heavens in something you don't agree with and not feel the urge to correct them. Hell freedom of speech means everyone gets to say what they wish. Of course there are consequences and responsibilities that come with a right and we all have watched as many have fallen due to them. None the less, it will be nice when things calm down again and the blowhards can stop the noise for a while yet. I love my country and I can't wait to stop hearing how damned we could be if we don't vote for...