"What kind of training?"

I am happy to report that I am home at last in Chicago. It's not that I don't enjoy the road, I do. I think it was the fact that when I left Chicago on August 23rd for a Caldera job, I thought I was returning on Sept 9th. Then I got the call for a PA job in LA that took me there from Sept 10th through Sept 27th. The return to Chicago on the 27th got all sorts of weird when I suddenly became a truck driver to Colorado Springs for the commercial I was working on. It looked a tad grim I would make it back when I was expecting. That was till Max (travel coordinator) improvised and sent me home out of Albuquerque. Yet you know that part of the story.

Shortly after getting to LA, I agreed to stay on for the Colorado portion on the commercial. I bought another Frontier flight from Chicago, Sept 29th through Oct 5th. The majority of that time was spent down in Colorado Springs on the Ft Carson Army base. It was an Army commercial, in case I forgot to mention it. That was the first time I had worked on a commercial where the background did not drive me crazy. Well that is when they were actually from the Army. When we were in LA and we had the standard LA background, I wanted to kill them all. Seriously, there is not a more useless group anywhere on set. The ARE cattle. I was grateful for the chance to make some extra cash by doing background, but it was difficult for company those days.

I had a great day with Mom when I was done in the Springs. We had Lucile's and St. Mark's. Mom registered to vote which was very exciting since Colorado is apparently a swing state for the first time in years. We went shopping and later had soup with the whole family. Adam and Jen came by with their brood. Sydney is getting cuter by the day. Judge for yourself below. Lincoln is still just a one trick pony. He sleeps.

I am glad to be back, although these last couple days have had the looming work of some design projects. I am glad for the freelance gig's, but it is tough for me to keep a schedule. For example, I will work on something all night till I like it. I am not being paid to do so. I am being paid for 5 hrs of work. I also forget to give myself breaks. Now that I don't smoke (4 months this Fri), I have very little to remind me to step away and maybe... EAT. I am trying to manage my freelance work as if it were someone else. I tend to treat employees a hell of a lot better than I do myself.


Tomorrow I go back to the Girl and return to waiting tables. Yet again I have to train for my job. They moved across the street while I was away. That is a big step, but more so for those that have become entrenched in their old ways at the original store.

Delving into the mind set of veteran employees at a children's store is an effort for a different entry.

For now I am savoring just being back. It's raining and chilly. I love it!!! Soon I will attempt to get back to more of a thought provoking Stupie. For now, "fire bad, trees good."

I keep ending up in Albuquerque

The title fairly sums it up. I finished the LA portion of the Army commercial on Wed. I was given the chance to be background the last couple days which was a nice change of pace and closer to acting. It took me by surprise when the director knew me by name.

In any case, I was supposed to just return a wardrobe truck and standby to fire off whatever was needed by my team, already in Colorado Springs. Lo and behold the infamous "what are you doing" call came in and next thing I know I am driving a slop truck, Super-Cube full of electric equipment the next morning with a guy I never met. The condition to my new availability was that I needed to be in Chicago by Sun. morning.

Our caravan of three trucks and 6 PA's left LA at 6am Friday morning and somehow managed to make it all the way to Gallup, NM last night before the New Mexico State Patrol "suggested" we adhere to the legal limit for driving and get a hotel.

Fearing I would never make it to Colorado Springs in time to catch the last fight to Chicago for the night, Production decided to get me a flight from Albuquerque. So I was dumped by my caravan with warm wishes and obsene hand gestures and await my flight to Chicago.

It's a weird life.

LA -vu

It's surreal to be back. I got in around midnight on Wed (thank you again Tanya!) and by 6:30 am I was driving a Super Cube truck to MJZ through early morning traffic. Where am I? Seriously?

My friend Max has arranged for he and I to stay in his former apartment here in Hollywood. It has been vacant since he left as the building will be torn down soon. However, until he got here last night the power was out and the hot water heater had been removed. I spent very little time in the apartment thus far, but it had been all by candlelight. I felt like a musician on tour.

Returning to PA life has been alright thus far. More of it is coming back faster than I thought. Directions around town are more known than thought out. I miss coming home to my Beachwood apt with Tiff at the end of the day. While production life is all-consuming, it was nice to have that oasis where you could actually see how fucked some of the demands were.

Right now there is no oasis. The phone just rang... I am off.

Go Go Gadget Troy

Taking my time before boarding my Frontier flight home to Chicago to drop a line and try and catch up both of my readers on my whereabouts and plans.

First, I am flying back to Chicago after a fun and successful trip to the west coast with Caldera. I left Chicago on August 23rd and o'dark hundred and before I knew it was on the road with Josh, Scott, and Noah in a duel 26' truck caravan.


The trip out was smooth, aside from a broken side mirror. We spent a week setting up event after event for Black Entertainment down at La Costa in Carlsbad, CA. There was even an opportunity or two to grab some In & Out Burger (grilled cheese for me) and jump in the Pacific. Super fun job.

We got back to Colorado on Thur and I have been enjoying seeing my family. That niece of mine is getting cuter and cuter. My new nephew is adorable too, but not quite user friendly just yet. I was able to get up to Estes Park for the Scottish/Irish Highland Festival as well and had a blast with the few friends that made it. I stopped in Ft. Collins on the way home and caught up with a handful of folks before turning the Jeep south for another late night trip down I-25.

That brings me to present to the airport I am sitting in.

From here I am going to Chicago for a couple days with Tiffany. Far to little time with her for sure. I fly out to LA on Wed night to do another PA job. My regular team asked for me and I thought it would be a good job to take. It kinda saddens me a little though as Tiff and I were supposed to be heading up to Minneapolis this weekend a la Megabus. That trip will have to be rescheduled. I will be in LA till Sept 27th. Have no fear, I will be back in Chicago in time for the PAWS 8K some of you have been kind enough to donate towards. Then I may (or may not) be heading back to Colorado to wrap up the PA job as they are shooting here for 3 days.

Whew.

Pictures to follow, but now I am boarding. See you again soon!

So close, so close...

It's funny working as a PA sometimes. Tiff said that it would help us to get a chance to work in the industry out here while we were auditioning. In some ways that seems to be true. I have thoroughly suplimented my lacking knowledge of film set lingo and etiquette (thanks again CSU). It has helped tremendously working so closely with the "talent" on so many of these commercials, afterall they are what most of us are out here hoping for. McDonalds and Bud can pay the rent for a few months. I quote the term "talent" in that, aside from being dressed and showing up to the right address on the right day, you really have little to do with convincing anyone of anything, especially "talent." Yet I digress...

I am currently working on a big car commercial that will potentially be the signature feel of this football season. I am in the office today and they finished doing fittings for several "talent" this morning. Honestly most of them were young enough to still be excited (and rightly so). It was the older "actors" that seemed to be... bored... irritated... dead? They were completely tired and ready to go as soon as possible.

Now this was not what I would call acting per se, but they made it this far... it's all fun from here. Plus the spot is going to be beautiful, not to mention profitable. How could you not like the idea of getting a national commercial that will only require you to look great and maybe play football some? It could be much, much worse. Watch five minutes of TV and see. Wait don't... it's not worth it

Anycase, it helps me stay hungry seeing it happen for some of these kids. Plus it canoccassionally be fun too. It's so close though.

Once hungry...

I have heard it said that strays have nearly insatiable appetites due to their early years of scarce food. I have also heard it said people tend towards those same instincts. If you grew up where things were in short supply, you find yourself inclined to hoarding if available. Well, my upbringing being anything but Disney, I felt the recession on the Reagan era pretty close in my family. I had my first business effort at 8 selling bowling novelties at my Dad's league night. My first job was at 14. I learned early on how to work.

My brother and I show the same tendencies on the job too, so I am inclined to believe we picked up something from our modest upbringing. I usually work harder than needed, longer than required, and with more ethics than could be included in any "at will" contract. These characteristics are all being exploited to their finest as a Production Assistant. The job by its nature is so cruel at times, it's a wonder it has not attracted any legal backlash. After all, it is industry standard to lie on our timecards, work well over 10 hours a day (and then drive 550 Super Cubes), and never see overtime or a full-fledged break.

Nonetheless I like working, still. Not necessarily as a PA for much longer. I am flattered to have heard from most of the coordinators I have worked for in the last year this week. I have established myself as a solid guy to call and depend on. That feels good, regardless of the job. A PA life is one that should probably best be spent figuring out how to get out of being a PA to be sure. For now I will sling the pop-ups and lock-down street corners. It's not always so bad. After all, yesterday I was running 30-yard sprints, back and forth while being pursued by a faux Jet and Giant. Plus I had a stand of cheering NY fans in their best autumn gear... in Long Beach... at Veteran’s Stadium... in 95-degree heat... ah, Hollywood.

I have a ton of work coming and am ok with it. I was offered a role this week for another small, storefront show that I had to decline. It was starting too quickly for me to change my schedule unfortunately. I was flattered nonetheless and had a ball auditioning. LA seems to be a tough town to try and do a play. They take too much time. It is the MTV generation's kinda town. My jobs are measured in days and my lease is month to month. Foundation? Why that's my no contract gym membership and fellowship of constantly changing cohorts.

I am heeding the adage I heard a while back as of late though. Let me not ask for a lighter load, but a stronger back.

At least that’s for now. I also know that every director’s chair and sheet of layout board are bringing in the money that will let me move from here. Funny... just funny

SPF 365

Time flies when your in the sun. Tiff and I rolled into LA last year on the 6th. I remember it so well. We actually hit town at about 4. We sat in traffic for 2 hours, having just finished up our 2000 mile trek across the country. That was concluded by a fast unload of our 2 over-packed cars. We were staying with her 2 friends, Ian and Amanda, who had a spare room but not in a good neighborhood. Then Amanda, Tiff, and I hopped in the lime, VW bug and went to Truly Vegan for food. God, it is so surreal looking back at that night.



The year since has been right there in suit. I became a PA the next morning and have stuck with it. As much as it may get on my nerves, that job has introduced me to so many people. I learned most of the city quickly and got to do some pretty unusual shit. Production license it is called here. In Chicago, that same thing used to be called organized crime.

I have had a chance to do a lot of work, some stage and some film. I became SAG eligible within a year. Tiff and I have explored a few beaches, cafes, and restaurants that were truly delightful. I quit smoking! Seriously, some things will missed heartily. I have become quite enamored with the city that continues to think money can solve anything. It's like the family member that every year tells the same bad jokes. Sooner or later you sorta start to love 'em for being so ridiculous. LA is no Vegas, but it certainly holds that in common- no excuses.

I have also seen utter misery here. Within days of getting here I stood less than 15' from a gun man shooting at a house of people. I have seen poverty at an extent it forever changes you (the place PA's go isn't always great). I have no real interest in cataloging all the difficulties though. They have been here. Not just because of here. That's what I know about that.


So what now? I have written a lot about moving. That seems in the works. The serious look at what that means is underway. Can I go back to Chicago without just erasing my year of progress here or just hitting my rut I left there? Is Denver or Minneapolis or Seattle a good step right now? A smaller market to test my bigger skills learned in? Hell, just to breathe? To finally have a cup of coffee during a rainstorm again?

Then the most horrifying idea... staying here longer. I can no adequately express how difficult an idea that is. I have relished the possibility of leaving as soon as is possible. Now I may have to stay and even defend it? I don't know if I could win a long round bout in that corner. Personally I am ready to chuck it all and run a coffee shop in the mountains of Colorado somewhere. What do you say Polairess?


You ever truly tried to figure out which star is the second one on the left?

Choice and Responsibility and the Moment

That's a long title for a pure stream of conscience post. At the conclusion of the way too long title, The Humpty Dance came up on iTunes shuffle. That song takes me back to 2 different times in my life. Playing softball as a newcomer on a sober league and my buddy Herman from Ft. Collins. He would actually hop out of the car to do the Humpty Dance when it would come on the radio.

A phrase was crossing my mind today that kept me in a stupid state of contemplation. The phrase is, "make your choices or they will make you." I probably have that wrong, but it made me think I do need to start pushing forward. I have droled on and on about not liking LA. I have drained time venting about art here. The list goes on and on. The point here is that I need to start writing in ink (and not just on my arm). I have a pretty good idea where I want the next few years to take me and what I would like them to be about. Now it's time to get a little more on the move with it.

I have to mention this though. LA and PA'ing here does have some cool ass moments. I finished a nightmare job yesterday. I did however get the opportunity to do something few "artists" get to do.
I caught a touchdown pass at the Colliseum. Some of the PA's said screw it and went down to the field after wrap and played a quick pick-up game. How fucking cool is that. Within 10 days I walked the field Olympians competed and the boards at the Forum. All that and I now have 2 whole fucking months as a non-smoker!

Guess I am getting some of the goals done!

Suck on that!

Oh dear Lord, it's been 3 whole weeks since I put down that last cigarette! Suck on that! You know... instead of a cigarette... pun-ny? Eh...

I must admit I was terribly excited to post my 3 week mark. It's been a hell of a week. I got either very sick last week or the smoking crud was coming loose. Either way, I sounded and felt like shit for days. I just finished a quick music video shoot and got what I had feared would happen. EVERYONE ON THE SHOOT SMOKED! Everyone. It was unreal. I am excited to no longer feel the need to broadcast that I just quit to everyone, but it got a little tense for a bit. I am down to just using toothpicks and gum. Early on the 2AD asked if anyone had gum, the artist wanted some. Being a good PA I answered right away and said yes. He thanked me and took it away to the artist (who, by the by they "tried to make [her} go to rehab but she said no, no no"). That left me a little edgy. I later asked for it back, silly as I felt to do so.

Now being at 3 whole weeks? It is good! I am amazed how the days are just coming now. I remember not being able to imagine going 3hrs. Hell, I even had a dream a couple nights ago that I had picked up a pack and smoked 8 of them. I remember this because I counted the 12 left in the box several times to determine how badly I had fucked up. Then, I crushed the pack and resigned myself to starting all over again. I quit again in my dream! What the hell?! I didn't even get to just enjoy them there? Tiff is still laughing about that one.

God love her, she has been so patient with me. I am very grateful and happy to be on this path. However, the smokes were a hell of a supressant. I am still going through the ADD shit as well as enjoying a new boute of insomnia and reaquainting myself with my flash temper. Tiff has weathered all 3 more than once now and continues to love me. I felt bad yesterday when I was flicking and puffing on my toothpick in the Jeep coming home from Malibu and she told me I even had her craving one. She quit 6 months ago.

What I know for today though is life is better. I am so glad to be without the monkey. I love when I realize I had not thought about one for a few hours. THANK YOU AGAIN TO ALL MY SUPPORTERS!!!!!

What now?

So, I get this call yesterday about a an actor network group. I will admit that I am less familiar with these services. I get the agent and understand the manager. Hell, I am even getting more familiar with the concept of thaetrical and comercial representation here in LA. It's a tough concept to keep increasing the percentages you will shell out. All this is still theoretical though for me. I am still waiting for my SAG eligibility to become official. Then, in many ways, I actually appear on the radar here in LA. Yet, I digress...

I was talking to this woman from the network group while finishing a run to the airport for work. I was fighting off a bug or exhaustion, I couldn't tell. In the last 3 days I worked close to 40hrs already. Thatstretch has covered 8 of my last 7 too. None the less I was relatively present on the phone.
She was a little curious about me. "Usually," she said, " we get referrals with files. With you we jusy received your name and number. Obviously you impresed someone though." We talked for a bit. She mostly wanted to get a feel for what I was doing as they seemed cautious to only take on people that are actually working hard to work.

It was disappointing at times to not know all the Casting Directors and shops by name while talking. On the other hand, being honest I was glad to feel some of my choices had been smart ones. I am interested in getting the feet wet again with some classes. Mr. Mowery's return to CO for an intensive is inspirational as well. Let's see what happens here.


By the by, I am at 13 days without smoking. The pictures are from my 2 day shoot in Angeles National Park. Who knew there was a place like this only 2hrs from LA? Hell it even got to 7000' elevation!

The odd life

Just a real quick hit here as I find myself in such an odd spot. It's 12:26am. I just got up from attempting to sleep a tad after doing pick ups with my Production truck. I am about to leave for work. We are shooting a Trojan commercial featuring hot girls and pigs. Real and anamatronic. The same studio that built the Jurassic Park dinasaurs (and our GM robot from the controversial Super Bowl Commercial) has provided us with a dozen faux pigs. The spot is hillarious. It's a surreal life.

Priorities

Decent jobs have been hard to come by this year so far. It has been a lot like change jar savings. A day here a couple there. They help, to be sure. But these jobs have been slim though. When I caught wind that a job may be coming through the end of this month for a nice fat 6 days, I got a little excited. That excitement doubled when not one but two jobs fell through for the week before.

On day one though I found out that the Fri. schedule was actually a night shoot. Where I thought I would have no conflict with the last two days of my show, suddenly I was going to lose one of them. This show and this cast has actually become prety fucking important to me. It may not be the finest theatre in the world, but for me it has felt like an oasis of brave art in a plastic city.

All this aside, I found I was given a choice by my boss that does not always come for a PA. She said that because I was unaware of the night shoot, I could opt to be covered for that night. I tossed and turned all night trying to decide what to do. On one hand it was money, sorely needed. On the other hand, a priority list exsists for just such an occassion. I have survived as a performer by remembering what is most important. Often times (4-5 times a week), the quest for money seems paramount. However, by remembering what is ultimately my goal I can make the tough choices.

This time it did not seem so simple. I have a host of bills coming in after way too many change jar jobs and way too many fallen-through jobs. It sucks to acknowledge that my new line of work, while lucrative, is no more reliable than waiting tables or hoping for hours at the Buck. I chose to work. This time I could do it because I would have my closing night. This time I could do it beacuse it was just once. None the less, this rationel seems all too familiar...

The outcome was positive though. I retained my 6th day when it was questionable and because I gave up a performance I got a 7th day too. I also had a smashing closing night. It was the most fun I've had on stage in a while.

Riding the low tide

I have noticed how great the sway of momentum is as of late. I went through a great spell of success last fall that gave me quite a push. A couple indy films, a couple commercials, and a few stage castings... it all was coming fast and loose. I felt as if I could do no wrong. This of course was just a perception. In fact, I did plenty wrong I am sure, but it did not feel as dire.

Since I have been back from the holidays, things have felt tighter. Less PA jobs coming in for shorter stints, less auditions, and consequently less castings. In Chicago, it was bitter sweet to hear a friend get a role. You were happy for them, but it meant they had a role in one of the productions you did not. There was a wait time for the next one to come around. Here, so much happens so quick, it is not possible to know of all the auditions. Here friends and aquaintences are getting the breaks everyday. You find yourself feeling at odds. Here in the explossive battlefield of acting paydays, it would seem like you really just need to be standing in the right place at the right time. I was PA'ing on a commercial shoot with a now well-known robot arm in a conveinience store. The store owner would not just remain still, out of camera rnge and gave us a hell of a lot of dificulty (PA wise). Low and behold, the clients thought he would be a good addition to the scene and BOOM, there he is in front of the camera. This guy got a SAG voucher and a potential Super Bowl spot. Just like that. For beeing a jack-ass that would not remain still. I am relieved to see his portion never made it into the spot though.


So what a to do when the water is low, so to speak. How to garnish that momentum, when there is none to ride. I bought a Jeep. That felt good. Unfortunately, it's also making me all too aware of the days the phone is not ringing right now. It's an interesting delema. For now I am content and riding out the drought. Check with me next week and I may be ready to comit to a graphic design program ASAP.

December stretch

Ah, the days are short and the sights and smells of the holidays are in the air... Well, the days are short at least out here. I am trying to find my best course of action with the upcoming situations and changes. There is a strike occuring in the production field out here. It does not include PA's but it happens to include our bosses. Now here is the difficulty for me. The people I work for that look out for me are on strike. I am not being asked not to work in the least, but at the same time it is hard to accept that I am going to try to do my job well and thus counter their efforts to disrupt our work. Honestly, I wish I could just forget about work for a spell and join them, but this is December and I have Christmas and Jan's rent on my mind. So, I go to work. Today has been a maelstrom of calls from the folks taking over this job. Slowly but surely they are starting to see me as their go-to guy as I know the director's quirks. This is gratifying as one that enjoys acknowledgement for his efforts, but difficult for the reasons already listed. On top of all this, it's a week or so before Christmas. When we begin shooting here in LA, I will be consumed with work till I leave. This is a lot to take in.

I also just had the wonderful opportunity to spend time with a close college friend, Tanya. She came out to visit for a few days and it was so damn good. Having been out here for five months now, I have forgotten how great it is to spend time with a friend that knows you so well. I am tired and homesick and well. Here's to that holiday cheer, where ever you are!