Proud

It has been a big year and I am so grateful for all that has happened. Gratitude here is not a new thing, but I am also quite proud looking at this last year. I pushed myself harder than I ever have and claimed a new PR on my marathon by over 12 minutes, not to mention picking up two more finisher medals. I started a new and challenging job and am excited that there is not enough time in the day now. Chris Rock said that's the difference between a job and a career. I am proud of my home and family and truly feel gratitude there. It's been a big year and I am quick to see the grace but I am also glad to take a modicum of satisfaction in seeing several jobs well done.

Algorithm Fail

I am impressed and slightly unsettled by the sophistication of online advertising. A first I thought the fact that some of my favorite sites had ads on Facebook or wherever was kinda cool, but then it started getting more precise. If I looked at a particular Bears hat, it started appearing every time I logged on to Facebook. While this was amusing, it started to frustrate me a little during this holiday season as I have been doing my Christmas shopping and just surfing for said Bears hat on my own for fun. Yet every time I hopped on Facebook, what I wanted personally kept popping up there as if teasing me to get it.

Then I figure out how to beat the system. I went on the websites that kept teasing me and pulled up a bunch of items I had no interest in. Voila! No more temptation. No thank you Facebook ad, I do not need that KC Chiefs t-shirt!

Good Review

This year I have been focused on 3 areas of "good" and am pretty happy with the results for the most part. On the eating "good" front, I am surprised to say I have almost converted entirely to a vegan diet. For a considerable time I said I leaned vegetarian. Now I would say it's a 90/10 vegan to vegetarian diet. I gave it a hell of a test too with over 1200 miles logged thus far. I truly feel great!

The good music part has been a exploration of more jazz and indie work. I am still not able to identify different pieces that easily as I am mostly just listening to the radio and audible is my worst learning style. None the less, a high tempo rift makes me smile every time. I am also loving the mesh of modern stuff I have stumbled upon. Finding "Girl Talk" was a wonderful find and will forever remind me of the Denver Cruiser Night I heard it first.

The good sleep is still a work in progress. Sleep and I have not gotten along well my entire life. I have most consistently wished it was not necessary at all or that I could just have a button and make it happen. In effort to get more "good" sleep, I have tried to go to bed earlier and more regularly get up at the same time. While training, I was up at 5:30 a lost every morning to get some miles before work in. I still don't sleep too well, but I keep trying. Put the body in the right place and hope it works.

It has been fun to focus on these 3 areas all year. I do appreciate the difference when given a choice. It is also nice to know that I have been monkey free for three and a half weeks. 2013 has been pretty all right!

More Than Three

I suppose it is a part of not wanting to accept feeling out of sorts, but my head has been full of judgement all day. Hell, it's fun for a couple minutes, but by midday it was clear the entire world was probably not being the asshole. I have heard it said and agree with the idea that when I encounter more than three assholes in a day, I am likely one of them. I surpassed my quota before my first cup of coffee was finished today. While there are bound to be days like this, it is frustrating to only claim victory in not saying everything that crossed my mind. Added bonus, I was so frustrated from being frustrated I decided it was time to give the running shoes some work. No pain and a decent time for barely logging a couple miles in two weeks. Nice to have a modicum of better breath as well.

Taper Jitters

The tried and true method of marathon training mandates a taper period before the big day. It is usually about 3 week prior and running is slashed to a minimum. Hell, some even say if you've been fighting an injury or a bug, don't run at all those last weeks. What is usually discovered (and rediscovered) the hard way, is that there is a ton of emotional stuff that lets loose when the endorphins subside after months. You are a junkie in withdrawals and get to just face it. On the upside, instead of running, the highest priority is rest and food. While your nerves and emotions may be running wild like a kid in candy land, you at least get to munch and nap.

One of my reoccurring and subtle foes in the taper is a strange need to get more gear. That is truly stupid since it is also a pretty dumb idea to introduce anything new now. All that flashy gear at bargain prices at the expo? Not for the race you are about to run! What's funny about this particular impulse is that I have all the gear I need and it usually takes me a few days to spot the fear underneath the, "I NEED THAT OR I WILL FAIL ON MARATHON DAY." I still ascribe highly to the Want Less, Do More philosophy and with running, I have already discovered how much unneeded gear stacks up. I have trimmed back and like my utilitarian supply. My dad also enjoys the benefits of my purging and rocks out former shoes (great for wringing, but not racing) and many old tech shirts.

Even though I have been blessed to get this chance to run a marathon a few times, each time it feels new right about now.  Despite the feeling though, I am glad to have the experience to draw on and realize that,  no, I don't need new sleeves or socks to run 26.2 miles this Sunday. I just need to turn the light off and go to bed.

Confused Pose

We went to yoga last night as is our usual on Monday nights. I was excited because my legs are getting restless with the rest before the race and I thought it would be a great chance to work them a little with a safe margin of time before race day. It's odd to me how I can run for hours, but ask me to hold a simple lunge like pose and I am shaking within a minute. Sure, I get the different muscle thing, but… RUN FOR HOURS… can't hold a lunge pose for longer than a minute without trembling like a leaf!

I digress though. Last night our regular instructor was out and we had a sub. He was ready to work the class and we flew through several poses in the same time it took our normal teacher to explain what we were going to focus on.

I soon found myself covered in sweat and trembling. Here's where I get a little confused. Yoga is all about breathing and settling into your body and poses. There's an odd relax sort of vibe. I am accustomed to attacking a workout, even if it's just a mental shift. I do that with running and going to the gym. I ease into the workouts, but my mind is set on tearing through the task in front of me. If it starts to hurt, I push myself harder to get through. I just naturally transfer pain to motivation.

That's where yoga seems confusing to me. I get to the hurt and want to attack it. "Oh, another fucking warrior two pose?!? Bring it on!" Not quite the zen that I think I am supposed to get. It is also tough to keep hearing the speech, whatever you can do that day is where you are supposed to be. If that were true, I'd be on my back on that mat in 20 minutes enjoying nap pose.

As frustrating as it is, I am intrigued by the challenge of it. I know at a few hard points in my last marathon, I used the breathing techniques. I was also focused on the thought I gained while trying to hold that damn warrior two pose for the hundredth time, "this is only temporary." Both got me through some tougher points. I know I can learn something here, it's just not fully known yet.

Tossed Again

I was out walking my dogs this morning and decided to go past where my Jeep was street parked. I am glad I did as it has been tossed again. By this I mean someone had gone through it to see if there was anything worth their time.  I am glad to say they walked away empty handed but left it a mess. Ever since my first painful lesson back in LA, I know what I keep in the Jeep is not secure as it is a soft top so I leave very little. After the last toss, I emptied it to virtually nothing so as to not even seem worth the while.

So why am I writing about this? The reason is that I have become comfortable with knowing my property can and does get routinely pillaged. There are no real alternatives at present and thus I have adjusted (keep nothing in it) and tried to grapple with that zen concept of my things are transitory.

The feeling of violation still comes, but I try and keep it in perspective. Nothing was taken. Nothing was damaged. Everything is fine. It's just stuff. If the power that be decides I no longer need that stuff, I am a poor opposition to it. So perhaps I am writing as a way to purge the violated feeling. It's small in comparison to other transgressions I know, but if you had a splinter, it would bother you and no one else. This is my splinter this morning and I am talking about it to ease the irritation.

Pushing Through

My legs have felt full of sand for the last several days. I even took a couple days off from training and shortened my long run on Sunday. Still, it has felt like running through mud. I've been feeling a little defeated by it. I don't know what else to do aside from push on. Today I was really happy to have a lighter stride again. It seems counterintuitive, but just pushing through the defeating feeling seems the only way of getting beyond it.

Simple Run Down

I started running to keep my mind occupied. It worked. Then I started to like it. All of a sudden I said I would do an 8K for a friend's team at PAWS Run For Their Lives in Chicago. A little later, while waiting to cheer a friend in the Chicago Marathon, I hatched this idea I'd like to try that.

It has been 4years and 6 marathons later. According to my sports watch, I have now run 4,284 miles since October 2009. Each time I show up to run a race, I see the folks that are raising money for charity and think I should have tried.

This year, I am attempting to run 2 marathons this fall to benefit PAWS Chicago. They do great work everyday and I am trying to help them for the next 3 months.  If you can spare a moment to donate, wonderful! If you can ask a couple people you know to donate, unbelievable! No matter what, I will be giving them something to continue their good work.

I hope you can help me! I have not asked before and it is uncomfortable to do so now, but I am trying.

What do you want to do?

Here's the link…

Spread the efforts by liking my humble Facebook page too.

Not Just Me

It's no secret that I like to run. It's an easy sport and one that you need rely upon only yourself. That's part of what I like about it. I am the only one I need to rally to go for a 4mi run in the pouring rain or an 18mi run in a blizzard. My crazy is the only one I need.

That philosophy has taken a detour now that I am running a marathon for charity. I need to ask for help. Worse yet, I need to ask for money. I am not crazy about either but do really want to do some good with my crazy affinity. It's getting easier after a few days and I do have a little extra modivation to run and stay healthy. Even though its just me out there mile after mile, I feel I have actually joined a team.

To donate click here!

Runnin' for Good

I am on the verge of signing up to run a marathon for charity. It's exciting and a bit scary all in one. As a guy that by nature does not like to ask for help, running has been a great outlet of a sport. You lace up and take off. No team, no field, hardly any equipment to speak of. Just go. This prospect would give me a chance to do something I love and do some good with it. The side that makes me nervous is the fundraising. That will require asking people for help. With a good cause at my back, I feel a little better about it.

Plus, it would be hella fun to get another marathon in this fall!

Yoga Monday

This is so not me by the way.

Part of my training is going to yoga on Mondays. I truly used it during the last marathon and can't help but feel it added to a new PR of better than 12 minutes. I used it last time, but did not try classes till about halfway through my training program. It's still hard as all get out for me. No distance running or weight training experience seems to lend itself to any ease in class.Plus it is summer and I am always hot, thus there is the added flattering aspect of sweating my tail off. Honestly, I haven't sweat like this since Defiant Theatre's The Pyrates (I brought a towel just for act one).

What's different is that I don't care as much that I am pretty lousy with the yoga. I have finally accepted the tenant of yoga that if you are working, you are doing it correctly. I am not limber and agile like my classmates or wife, but I am working. The sweat is a dead giveaway. I am relaxed though and laughing a lot more than I used to. I managed to get into a pose tonight and immediately chuckled and fell over. It's fun and somehow is helping me get faster at 26.2 miles.

Better Than Aspirin

Today I had an easy 4mi scheduled. I am not a warm weather runner, to be sure and have been enjoying my early morning runs before work. Today though, I wanted to sleep in a bit. My head was a jumble too so I was particularly happy to lace up and get out the door. It's already hot and I just ran easy out and back down a street that has gorgeous homes. All of them are turn of the twentieth century and well kept. Since the weather has warmed, I am favoring North and South streets for the shade and felt relatively comfortable. It was pleasant just running along with no music and not looking at my sports watch. My head was quieter when I got home. I don't understand how that works, but am glad it does. 

Early Morning Runs

I am starting to get used to my getting up early to run before work routine. The new job has offered me a set schedule and I just began my training for the Denver Rock 'n Roll Marathon this week. Thanks to my new training program, I am able to do all of my weekly runs before I have to go to work. The benefit of this is also that I get my runs in while it is still cool outside. While I am not a wake and run guy at all, I am certainly not a run while it's in the 90's guy. I heard it takes three weeks for a new schedule to feel normal. That seems to be holding true. I won't lie though when I say tomorrow morning's early tempo run will be tough.

Normal Hours

My new position has regular hours and I am finding the adjustment challenging. All my friends who have been in the regular working world for some years are laughing their asses off at my struggles. I have never had set hours before in my life and the windows of time before work and after seem to close so quickly. It took me a day each to paint each of the rooms in our home and they were done by dinner. I have been trying for a week now to finish the painting in the last bedroom and it still isn't done! I know the timing while get better as I adjust, but I feel a little like I'm walking quickly on ice. At a least I got a run in before work today!

Kinda Hippie

Tiff and I have been using a considerable amount of produce lately since getting a juicer. I had been skeptical about this device as it seemed a little too much like a fad. However, it has been a great addition to the kitchen. At some point, Tiff may even let me have a crack at it.

None the less we biked over to a farmers market not too far away and grabbed some awesome veggies. There seems a degree of cliche in all this with the juicer, bikes, and farmer's markets, but it has been really fun too. I think when I heard people talk about doing any or all of these things, I suspected they were a bit nuts. I didn't ever believe it was possible that it was fun and made you feel better.

I still think tie-dye is stupid though.

Taking a Walk

As of late, Tiff and I have been taking the dogs for a longer walk in the evening. It has been a great relaxation doing this. I am trying acclimate to not having to work hard all the time as I had for several months now. When I wasn't at work, I was working to find work or supplementing with some extra work. Having time off, even at the end of the day feels pretty new. These walks have been perfect for reminding me to enjoy life about me a little. I have my wonderful wife and two adoring, happy-go-lucky dogs with me and everything feels good… balanced. I am a lucky guy and strive to never forget that.

The Streak is Over

Yesterday was my first day without running since December 30th. I was awfully proud of my streak, ending with 140 consecutive days. I appreciate and respect rest days, but just didn't feel like stopping. The marathon left me a little sore, but on the whole not too bad. One of the things about the streak that was getting tough was keeping it going. I am glad to take a few days off and rest up some. I am already feeling itchy to get back out, but I know my legs are reaping more benefit from not right now. It is wonderful to have found something like running that recharges, exhausts, and ultimately refocuses me. Yesterday I felt a bit fuzzy without that daily hit. Balance though is a beautiful thing.

What I Should Have Said

I had an interaction yesterday that has just stuck with me. Right or wrong, I can not seem to let this discussion go. It's frustrating to me to keep replaying it over and over again, although I know it is very normal to do so. The whole fantasy of having a conversation where you said this or that seems fairly common. What irks me is when it was an unpleasant one and I continue to stay in the discomfort, reliving it. To paraphrase a friend, healthy is not having conversations with people that aren't there. While that seems a no brainer when considering going all Harvey, when I apply it to my mind I am challenged at times. Especially right now. Rarely can I just change for the sake of change without knowing why. This seems simple enough though. I need to stop replaying that conversation to feel better. Simple, not easy.

Workin' Through

I have yet to hold a job where there doesn't seem to be some adverse element to contend with. Whether that be slow business or just individuals that see things differently than I do. While there is always the temptation to say they are wrong or things would be better in another job, that seems a waste of time. They are always there. Without the option to just not work (which personally would drive me mad), I have come to the conclusion that no matter how ridiculous these folks seem to be, I can not avoid them. My happiness therefor can not be tied to there acting differently than I would wish. A wise man once asked me,"would you like to be happy or right?" As infuriating as that question can be, it more often than not seems accurate in the small things.