Monday, November 28, 2011

Stupid Monkey

Tonight was a little harder. I really wanted a cigarette. It's hard to admit that as it has been so long now, I feel that should be ancient history. None the less, driving home, my Jeep slowed by numerous gas stations. I imagined having a pack again and it made me happy. The trouble is, that is just the beginning of the story. It always starts of romantically with that sexy first pack that will last forever. Then it turns into the addiction ugly. The fishing butts out of the ash tray because you ran out and the store is too much trouble to get to. 

I got home tonight and I ran. It helped. Still, it is one of the only times I am free of the scare of smoking again. Even if I am thinking about it the whole time, I can not ever just grab one. It is truly a blessed reprieve to have that.

1 comment:

mommasitta said...

Baby steps captain......baby steps! They will always - always work for you when you need them. Its almost like having a blankie from childhood...............You can do it sir!