Suck on that!

Oh dear Lord, it's been 3 whole weeks since I put down that last cigarette! Suck on that! You know... instead of a cigarette... pun-ny? Eh...

I must admit I was terribly excited to post my 3 week mark. It's been a hell of a week. I got either very sick last week or the smoking crud was coming loose. Either way, I sounded and felt like shit for days. I just finished a quick music video shoot and got what I had feared would happen. EVERYONE ON THE SHOOT SMOKED! Everyone. It was unreal. I am excited to no longer feel the need to broadcast that I just quit to everyone, but it got a little tense for a bit. I am down to just using toothpicks and gum. Early on the 2AD asked if anyone had gum, the artist wanted some. Being a good PA I answered right away and said yes. He thanked me and took it away to the artist (who, by the by they "tried to make [her} go to rehab but she said no, no no"). That left me a little edgy. I later asked for it back, silly as I felt to do so.

Now being at 3 whole weeks? It is good! I am amazed how the days are just coming now. I remember not being able to imagine going 3hrs. Hell, I even had a dream a couple nights ago that I had picked up a pack and smoked 8 of them. I remember this because I counted the 12 left in the box several times to determine how badly I had fucked up. Then, I crushed the pack and resigned myself to starting all over again. I quit again in my dream! What the hell?! I didn't even get to just enjoy them there? Tiff is still laughing about that one.

God love her, she has been so patient with me. I am very grateful and happy to be on this path. However, the smokes were a hell of a supressant. I am still going through the ADD shit as well as enjoying a new boute of insomnia and reaquainting myself with my flash temper. Tiff has weathered all 3 more than once now and continues to love me. I felt bad yesterday when I was flicking and puffing on my toothpick in the Jeep coming home from Malibu and she told me I even had her craving one. She quit 6 months ago.

What I know for today though is life is better. I am so glad to be without the monkey. I love when I realize I had not thought about one for a few hours. THANK YOU AGAIN TO ALL MY SUPPORTERS!!!!!