Good Day

It's one of those rare and fun Sundays I don't have to work. I was able to do my long run (18mi) and not wonder how tired I would be by the end of my shift tonight. I got to have coffee with some good friends a little bit ago and now am home about to embark on our first good sized kitchen renovation. My folks are coming over later to help and have dinner with us. It's also Easter sunday and for me that has been a day I celebrate my friends more than anything else formally. We have all been scattered across the country these days, but every Easter we find a way to be a part of each other's lives. All in all, it's just a good day.

Gratitude

Today is a special day. It marks an anniversary for me that I am grateful to have been celebrating for quite a few years now. I am truly grateful for this life I've been given a second chance at. While my destructive road was not long, it was pretty clear where I was heading. To have a chance today to be better, to be of service, and to have hope is nothing short of a miracle in my life. It is a gift from god and I do try and stay ever mindful of that. Today, regardless of any adversities, I have hope. Just for today, that's pretty fucking awesome. Thank you to all that have helped me and to all those that take time to read my little musings. 

The Plan

I just got back from my weekly tempo run where I run "uncomfortably fast" and then look gratefully to having 7 days till I have to do it again. You know it's rough when every week I finish and think all I have left this week is a 14 or 16 or 20 mile run to do, no problem. I would honestly rather hit one of those long runs anyway over speed work. The tempo runs and hills are new to my training and it has kept it interesting.

What's a bit of a surprise is that they are working! Hills have not been as tough the last couple weeks, even with the increase to 8x up my favorite incline. The tempo runs have also seemingly been working too. Every week for the las 5 I have set a new PR on my 5K time. Today, I hit a new PR for my mile too. While I was winded and not as happy as I felt when I was just walking the dogs an hour before, I didn't want to die as I has last time I broke my mile PR.

What I love about the marathon is that it is too long to cheat, either in training or the race. You put in months of training and you survive and thrive in a 26.2 mile run. It is that simple. Follow the plan and take care of yourself (which is part of the plan) and the results are almost guaranteed. As a perpetual skeptic, I love watching that unfold every time. Logically there is no was a guy that smoked two packs a day and never ran a step till he was 33 should be able to run marathons, but the training works. I am again impressed that though there never was a "maybe" involved in improving with hills, speed, and higher milage it is again seemingly working.

I consider myself a relatively smart guy, but am humbled how often and in so many ways I need the reminder to just follow directions.

Rain in the Air

It's damp from the rain outside right now and the temperature is higher than it has been for quite a while this time of the morning. It definitely feels like Spring is on its way. There is a true rejuvenating feeling that always comes this time of the year. Even though I am a die hard winter fan and will take mounds of snow to a summer day any time, I am still moved by the underlying happy that exists in the Spring. It just feels good.

Dream World

Ever had one of those bad or weird dreams that you woke up from still feeling it? That just happened last night to me and I couldn't shake the feeling. I decided to take my frustrations out and knock out my hills run this morning. It seems one of those mysteries we all just accept the way dreams affect us. They entertain and confuse us. On occasion they scare us or even cause us to actually move. While there are volumes of research, studies, and amateur theories on what and why dreams happen, no one seems to have an answer for why our dreams do what they do. I have awoke in a full sweat and heart racing just because of the pictures in my mind. It does make for an interesting point that so much of what we believe and experience is how our mind sees it. Why else would that strange dream last night have left me so cross this morning? None of it actually happened. At least for last night's area, I am glad for that.

Muddy Fun

Maybe it was growing up in Houston with severe allergies to what seemed like everything, but I just never really got outside to play much as a kid. Consequently, as an adult, I am far more accustomed to cities than anything nature. That trend has been turning over the last few years but I am still far and away a city guy. That might have explained the child like joy I found in my run through the park this afternoon as I soon discovered most of my park look was slush and mud. It was a blast clomping through the mess, feeling huge globs of snow and mud hitting my legs. It was just fun in that way every kid seems to know and for this afternoon, I was glad to also.

Rules

I heard a comedian talking about the uproar involved when the debate was on about the legal right to burn a flag. He talked about the simple fact of being allowed to do something does not mean you should do something. It has lingered in my mind as an interesting overview towards where we are standing as a society. We seem to clamor for regulation and rules to prevent that which we don't want to see happen all the while it seems interesting to question why rules are needed to prevent desire to do so. I am not so naive as to assume all citizens live by the same standards and morals, but it would seem more and more we request to have even the simplest of codes regulated in law. Some have outcried that this is the slow stripping of our civil rights. That may be a little of a stretch, but it does make me wonder.

Done

My endless treadmill run went without a hitch. I couldn't find a movie long enough I wanted to pop in so I literally out ran Gladiator today and finished with a Devil wearing Pradas. As unpleasant as the prospect was, it was good to just get it in and over. From time to time I need that little reminder that my opinion on something is far less important than just doing it. 

Treadmill Long Run

We got a tremendous snow storm today. It just dumped a ton of wet snow all night and day. The result is an icy, winter wonderland outside tonight. The temperatures have dropped well below freezing and are not likely to rise much by tomorrow morning. I am now facing the grim option of doing my long run tomorrow on a treadmill. The idea alone is a little mind numbing. Treadmills are to running like potato chips are to fine dining. They fulfill a need at times but are far less desirable, especially for doing any serious distance on. On the upside, to counter the monotony I need carry no gear and get to wear shorts. I am willing to get on and get the miles in, but do hope mother nature can offer up at least decent traction next week.

Dragging My Running Shoes

It seemed like a good day to do be reminded of this. I am about to head out to get my tempo run in and of all the training runs in a week, this is the one that is most difficult to lace up for. It's a 4mi run with two loops in the park and it has been tough. It is the only run that I head out on that even before the first mile, my head it screaming to stop. Somehow I have made it through for the last several weeks, but each time I head out there is doubt. Call it it faith, call it stubborn but I keep pushing through. I realize this is the point of the exercise, to push through the discomfort and make the legs familiar with running faster when they don't want to. None the less, it remains a tough one to get out there for.

Spring

It's officially Spring and today it looks likely we'll see some rain. The change of the season always feels good. It feels like a fresh start and a chance to clean out some clutter. I love winter and the cold, but find myself very ready for the new season. Perhaps it's just psychological but I am very ready for renewal. 

Good One, Gun Control! Tell Me Another One.

There's a private plane circling downtown right now with a banner on gun control. It has become the hot topic as of late as it would seem everyone in an office wants to demonstrate that they are against another senseless tragedy. Am I alone though in my skepticism on this? Why is it that everyone is convinced restricting the guns or even taking them away is the answer? Sure I subscribe to the sentiment Eddie Izzard said when discussing guns, that, "guns don't kill people; people kill people but the guns surly must help." I believe strongly in our right to have guns and I don't really think the size and amount make much of a difference. A small handgun can do as much as an assault riffle if used maliciously. I do not know what the answer is, but I know that all the huffing and puffing out politicians are doing seems pointless. It would seem they just need to show effort to protect themselves when we decide if they should keep their jobs. What seems a more fundamental issue is why the people that do cause these tragedies are doing what they do. A severely disturbed person can wield any weapon dangerously and arming all the "sane" folks won't really stop that. I wish I could tell you the here on Stupie, I know exactly what needs to be done, but I don't. I am tired of the wind on gun control though. It's like blaming your shoes for being late or wishing to ban blue cars if that was the color that hit you.

Text Break

I am constantly trying to just get out of my head, especially while at work. Today, I took some time and sent out several "good morning" texts to friends while on break. It didn't take too long but the result was success in that quite a few responded and I got to hear a little about where they were at. That helps me a lot to be sure. When I am stuck thinking too long about my views of the world, my life gets pretty uncomfortable. A little thing like good morning did me some good.

Adopt

After a little consideration I decided to change my plates from the beloved green and white traditional colorado plates. I chose the Adopt a Shelter Pet group as I have become increasingly aware of the plight so many animals face. It's shocking and I won't do the disservice of trying to relay facts I am not well versed in. The bottom line is there is never a need to purchase an animal from a store or even a breeder with so many pets available RIGHT NOW that need help. There are more rescues that homes for them and their stories can get outright overwhelming. They need all the help they can get and even if my modest fee from my plates doesn't go very far, I hope the message will.

Go Further

Sunday is my long run day in my training and this time around I am staying a bit more consistent with my days. Today I had my second 16mi run. Each long run is now either 2mi longer than the week before or a repeat of the last week's distance. I am ever impressed at the wisdom in marathon training I have priced my program together from. What I love about the marathon is the mind boggling distance and time it takes. What I love about the training is that no matter how often I have done it, I am every time surprised as the ability is rediscovered. Every week I am going out on what feels like the longest I can comfortably go and every two weeks that gets longer. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. There are not many areas of my life today that continue to push boundaries right now and I am ever grateful that once a week I get to see I can go that much further.

Friends In Need

Just heard some news from an old friend that he is facing a serious challenge. While yesterday's thoughts were on the wonders of long term friends, today's are in the responsibilities to them. This particular group has been like a family for many years. We've been through some big ups and downs together. As crisis arises we all come together and play our parts. I am grateful to have this and know whatever this friend needs we will be there. After all each of us takes a turn in the needing. That is love. 

Good Friends

I had the wonderful opportunity to do some work today with one of my oldest friends, Scotty, today. It has been a while since we go to catch up face to face. What amazes me about friendships like this one is that time does not pass the same way it does with regular friendships. While it may have been weeks since we saw each other, some conversations picked up exactly where they left off. At other times, entire conversations were not even needed to get back up to speed. I truly value having a few friends like this out there. I have long prided myself on being a good corespondent. I used to be the guy that reminded everyone when our friend's birthday's were coming up. Over the last year or so, I have found I am more inclined to put my efforts where they are reciprocated. Consequently, there are some friends I have not spoken to in months now. For those that I do, I am ever so grateful. Those are really my friends and the number is far lower than my Facebook account reports and far more valuable. 

Positive

Today is my Saturday as it were. I'm content to be getting some odds and ends taken care of thus far and am about to launch into more meaningful work. It feels good to be a degree more optimistic these days. The recent funk has been tough to weather, but it is just a storm and they always pass if allowed to. Optimism is an amazing quality. It seems impossible to force and undefinable when it's there. For most of my life I feel I have been more or less positive. I know a good portion of that was seriously in the wrong direction, but at least I was positive about it. Today, as I take stock on a routine basis to weigh my assets as they may be viable, I am grateful for my optimism. By nature, it sure can't hurt to hope.

Religion

There is a new pope. That is about all I truly know about the subject to be honest. I have, like so many, also learned the difference on Vatican smoke signals. What fascinates me is the insight into the religious traditions and rituals that are for the most part a mystery to me. I have a faith and my own particular routines that I follow. When I become aware of a different one than mine, I now find an interest I honestly have not had for very long. So often religion seems a point to argue and find differences as points toward inadequacies. People seem to pit one against another again and again. The affairs of the world and their religions does not concern me much any more. What I find beautiful and interesting is where faiths agree. It has been said men of faith are not weak. I do agree with that. In our cynical age where tearing down an opinion seems more prevalent than standing for one, I admire when people are proud of their faith. I don't believe one faith should ever be forced on another, but I appreciate deeply that the country I live in permits anyone to believe as they wish so long as they harm no one in doing so. 

Judge Not

I try to avoid judgement. Beyond the multitude of warnings against it, I can easily see its correlation with my happiness. When I judge, it inevitably leads to me feeling pretty shitty. In that regard its similar to fast food. While it feels good in the moment, I have learned it just masks a lesser feeling in me. It's been one of those days where I feel like looking around and determining where all the idiots are, thus I'm partially writing to remind myself that they are not my problem. There's a great deal of freedom in that. 

Monday Musings

t's funny how Monday's always seem to bring a familiar feeling. It's not always bad, but it seems to be consistent. I don't even work on a standard week right now, so my Monday's aren't even the end of a weekend. What I am fascinated by is the promise they hold. Right now it feels good to be starting a fresh week. I hope to continue in this spirit even when I can get back to a regular week. Chris Rock once said the difference between a job and a career is that with a career there is never enough time in the day. That sounds pretty good.

Zen Run

Today's was my long run day and I was really looking forward to it. I also had the day off which meant I was user no time constraints. What I love about running is forgetting about all the rest of my stresses for those miles. When I need to get one in by a certain time, that sorta takes the zen effect out to a degree. Today was good.

Snow Training Run (again)

It's snowing with a blizzard warning in effect. Looking outside it din't look too bad just yet and I did only need an easy run today. I laced up my abused Asics and headed out. There was very little snow on the the sidewalks of my out and back 4mi. route, but there was considerable slush and some tricky hidden puddles. None the less it was beautiful being out there in the heavy snow fall. The world was quiet and the run was indeed easy. I have only trained for a spring marathon twice before, but don't remember having this many runs affected by heavy snow fall. I am also trying to run harder in training with more runs and shorter distances. I have no idea how this will ultimately impact my time on the Colfax Marathon, but one thing I know for certain is I will not wonder if I could have done more. When I hit the wall last May, that thought haunted me and lingered for several months. While I don't subscribe to the "everyone wins" philosophy that damn near ruined my generation, I do believe that results are definitively tempered by preparation. If I work my ass off in preparation, even if I miss my goal I will know I gave all I had. 

Smart Funny Life

I am a huge fan of comedy. I truly love it. I have also been turned a little discerning when it comes to the laugh grabbing. There are a few styles I am not a fan of and have learned through experience, classes, and exposure are just cheap and unrewarding. Among those are the cruel and self deprecating approaches. They don't even try. It's an easy out for someone looking to not do much. At Second City, we were constantly pushed to be smarter in our satire. It showed me that saying something important also relies on how you say it. In Theatre Sports back in Ft. Collins, we were pushed to play it clean and be honest. Potty humor was a trap and ultimately made for a weak show. It took smarts to avoid those easy outs. It also took guts to be honest on stage with a bunch of strangers watching. What was shocking was that truth was the funniest thing we could offer.

As I am seeking some changes in my life right now, I am reflecting a bit on these lessons. My approach to the challenges before me have fallen into the weaker categories I just described. I am slowly seeing how they are not working so well. It caused this reflection as I realized I know better than this, if only for what makes a great performance. I need to apply some of those lessons more broadly it would seem.

Uncomfortable Welcome

"Remaining calm while uncomfortable." "Pace should be slightly uncomfortable." These are a couple terms that seem to keep coming up in my training right now. It seems also to be a decent life lesson for me at the moment. There are certainly facets of my life that are not as I would wish them to be. Ever grateful, I am also aware there is progress to be made within them. I am not one to generally bemoan discomfort, but it seems I am to embrace it as of late. I am hoping with persistence, it will become less so. Hell, part of the discomfort that I dread so much is the dread and the newness. Neither last if I keep after it.

Doggie Style Hello

It is more than a little awesome to get such a great greeting from our dogs every time I get home. Occasionally I even get that greeting when I get up late. There is such an unbridled joy just to see me. It can erase even the toughest of days in an instant. Everyone should get to feel like this at least once a day. That's my opinion at least.

Ain't No Sunshine When

I know I have only been a married man for a couple years. I also know Tiff and I have been together for a few years before becoming husband and wife. None the less, it still surprises me how when the few occasions come when we are to be apart for a stretch it feels so unnatural for me now. I love having some time to myself, but even when I do I feel that missing. She is the love of my life and I am even grateful to know that. Even more, I am glad to feel it. She returns today and I can not wait to pick her up. I long felt that if I found the right person for me, it would let me feel complete. It's little wonder that I was never able to find that person. What I found was someone I felt complete with or without, just a whole lot better with.

Old Man Running Style

When I was in Chicago, I developed a style of running on ice I called "Old Man Running." I rediscovered it yesterday on  my first few miles. It is a process of running with very short strides and the arms are perpetually out a little as if frozen in a step of the chicken dance. The whole body is  a little more stiff and upright. Altogether it looks and feels a little silly and truly is not much in the way of running, but is does work well for remaining on my feet when my ground is quite slick. The other thing about it that always makes me smile is that whenever I am forced into Old Man Running style is that is generally means conditions are a little rough for running and yet I am out giving it a try. The whole thing might be more embarassing if it were not for the fact I am almost always alone in my efforts. Runnin when conditions are less than optimal are some of my favorite times to lace up.

Hello Old Route!

Today I set out for my 14 mile long run from a different point of origin. On my current house sitting gig for my folks, I set out from their place. While I stayed here a few weeks after moving back from Chicago till our apartment was ready, I got to explore some of the many trails around them. There are truly some beautiful spots just near by I never knew when I was a full time resident with my parents. It was also embarassing to realize how easily I could have gotten to high school by way of these trails if I had been so inclined. Sadly, I was years away from that inclination. None the less, it felt nostalgic and good being out on them today. Even "Hell Hill" between miles 8 and 12 wasn't too bad today. I love that running routes have become like favorite stories I enjoy revisiting!

House Sitting Home

I'm on house sitting duty for my folks the next couple days. With Tiff out of town, I'm flying solo on this, not counting the four dogs of course. It feels odd to house sit for my parents as it also just feels a little like I've just come home for a visit. Glad to help them and definitely going to soak up some ubber dog time.

House Sitting Home

I'm on house sitting duty for my folks the next couple days. With Tiff out of town, I'm flying solo on this, not counting the four dogs of course. It feels odd to house DIY for my parents as it also just feels a little like I've just come home for a visit. Glad to help them and definitely going to soak up some ubber dog time.

Just Lace Up

Been a bit tight on the time to get proper posts up. When that happens I am torn as to whether it is better to try and say something, even if it is short like yesterday or skip it and just acknowledge time is not on my side. I am often one to try and say something, anything to keep inertia going though. It always seems twice as easy to skip once it has been done once. Life also never seems at a lack of business to create all sorts of viable options and excuses. To me, time always has the ability to conform when I need it to, even if it doesn't feel like it will. Sometimes I have to lace up and just go and trust I will have the time.